From a single
humble
acorn
I have become
a sentinel of the ages; champion of repose.
I am a talisman,
landmark,
playmate,
friend.
I dapple the ground,
stipple the breeze,
shed my mantle
to weather the depths of
a season.
Wound me
and I will weep sticky tears.
Cut me
and I will crack,
groan
and sigh.
shape me
mould me
and I will live on
in the shadow
of my
greatness.
Author notes
This was quite a bit longer but I have ruthlessly cut it back (pruned?) to 26 lines...but at least they are relatively SHORT lines!
A contest entry
- Wednesdays at Winklings by Lyndon.
875 points, ended December 3, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Pruned or not, Lou
Your tree and poem both stand tall! "In the shadow of my greatness" is almost metaphysical in its metaphorical implications. I like it. Your use of twos, threes and fours itemised enhances the poem.
Thank you for this entry. Ron.
-
Very nice personification! Beautiful descriptions first 3 stanzas! Sad to think of it being wounded and cracked. I understand shaping wood, but I'm unfamiliar with moulding it. Very nice concluding 3 lines. I had not thought to look at stair rails, furniture and cabinets to see the tree!


-
I love the simplicity of this poem. You've used single words in some stanzas that bring about a whole lot of meaning. The structure is also great--- reminds me of a tree .I like how the tree is portrayed form its start to what it is now and I think it's really good how you started the poem with the beginning of life for the tree and ended it with the tree in all its "greatness".

-
This is in the voice of the old and strong tree, nice personification.
Oaks seem to be eternal, and I especially like the portrait in stanza 2. "Playmate" made me smile. You have done well with this subject, though "he" would not want my sympathy, I think. Best of luck!


-
You deleted my comment...
First of all, I was attracted to this poem for its form. You write in the same style as I do in my free verses. At least I see a similarity. I also like the words you used to descripe the mighty Oak, the Quercus. You did not forget any aspect of the tree. Well done. But... for me you did overdo it with "Burn me". Burn me and I will live on? I do not understand that. My neighbour once burned a tree in my garden and it was dead and did not return. Maybe a Quercus is like a weed... which can't be exterminated. Is that so?
PS. I SEE YOU HAVE TAKEN NOTICE OF MY REMARK. ok!
Anna.
-
Excellent! I love the fifth stanza the most. I have a miniture forest for a yard, and I have walked beneath the trees listening to the groans of the woods weight so many times. The trees whisper and sigh as you pass under like they have so much to tell you if you'd just stand still. Great write!


1 - 6 of 6







