how can i love you,
why do i care,
how was i not aware,
you were going to leave me at my worst,
to turn my life into death,
leave me screaming in despair,
i trusted you to always be here,
through thick and thin,
you put my life in the wrong spin,
when you left i picked up my knife,
i thought i was an ex cutter,
but i guess i was wrong,
i must have been fooled all along,
i cut my wrists up then down,
till they bled and i thought i was going to drown,
in all this blood i should be dead,
but i stand here looking in dread,
i finally collapse and look ahead,
i see the reaper,
he smiled as i bled,
i embed my soul into him,
as my body lay there in bloods grim,
i joined the reaper with a smug grin,
i felt free,
no longer bound,
no longer found upon this earth,
what a silly place,
in a silly world,
so as you think of me tonight,
think if you'd stayed it would be alright,
i laugh at your tears that was your fault,
despite how you loved me,
you left me there,
so imagine my dead body,
as you sleep tonight,
ill be in your dreams,
to scare you,and to bring you fright..
Author notes
this is for Dommi's contest i hope you like it,
i know how you feel hun ive bee nthere so many times i have, id like to say im an ex cutter but im cutter myself tryign to stop, its not a good habit,
i hope it comes to your liking
love Elektra
A contest entry
- VERY best of dark by psychiatrists dream.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost and Lonely feeling Helpless by CarnalNineTailedFox.
550 points, ended November 30, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
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So sorry to see you didnt win in any contest. You should have! It's very well written
Mylee -
i get you
wow im straighting to understand great don't stop writing
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wow...you seem to be a very vengeful person...remind me to say on your good side...do you have a good side?...lol...well written
~*~Lauren~*~ -
ow can i love you,
why do i care,
how was i not aware,
you were going to leave me at my worst,
to turn my life into death,
leave me screaming in despair,
laugh at your tears that was your fault,
despite how you loved me,
you left me there,
so imagine my dead body,
as you sleep tonight,
ill be in your dreams,
to scare you,and to bring you fright..wow this is deep full of the shadows of a broken heart a great poem xx
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wow...
that is one intense poem, about heartbreak... and i must say i have never seen quite a poem like this one you did a fabulous job with it. good job and keep up the work.
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thats a fine line we didnt cross there :P
this is a verry open faced write .. clean and purified honestly unfolds here and though i've never been a cutter
my insides have been through this so many times this write is a dead wringer 
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Great
I love this poem and the darkness to it. I myself was once a cutter so i can feel the pain in these piece. Keep it up my friend.
LaDonna -
i like this poem. and it has that eerie air that just draws you to it. it's also filled iwth emotion. good.
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ok
I think you'd like some of my earlier poems. Seems we often at times meet people in the wrong times of our lives or theirs. That they won't know what they were missing because they had no real desire to be there. To be themselves, and to be real people. Best wishes!
BadGothBoy -
your an insane poet insane good not bad i loved this wirte it made me feel hurt and yet guilty it just made sense
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this shows so much emotions and hurt but also greatness good work
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I love it. Reading this poem I felt as though it was me who hurt you, guilt and agonies slid down my throat like molten lava, making me feel pain that wasn't my own but "felt" like it was. Wonderful job, you really hit the spot.
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Ummm Wow
when you left i picked up my knife,
i thought i was an ex cutter,
but i guess i was wrong,
i must have been fooled all along,
those lines as I told ya on messanger really hit me hard! you struck me in one of my most vulnerable areas which is my memory as you dredged up mental images and memories of when I was abused and raped and tortured into submission with barely a fleeting defense. any ways wow what a helluva dark wrte thi was. I mean it really hits you alot when someone can fully rrelate to this. I do find it kinda sweet aht you can relate to the pain of a friend but also damn sad too because you endured so much. anyways well penned and it shocked me you did not place but keep up the good work.
<3 Me
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wow... i liked it.....and u didnt hold the emotion either....i loved it!!!! great work!!!
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Scary, in a way.
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Well this is sad! But your word flowed on this paper amazingly. Thank you for sharing! In Love & Light... Blessed Be! ~~Iridessa MoonFlower~~
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Wow, ok this is really sad, I didn't like it at all, not because of the quality because of the tears you have made me cry with it. I hope you stop and soon. And you forgot to add me on your new page...
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oh no my daughter please dont cut your beautiful self
please know i care about you
i know it will be hard but please try to think and stay postive your so young and so much to live for
bless you now and always -
you need to work on your poetry a little bit
but i can totally relate to this i used to be a cutter
and it ruined my life
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Well Done,
Such an indepth piece of purerrrfect poetry in action.
I enjoyed each line that flowed so beautifully into verse.
Thanks for sharing you, keep up the wonderful works.
Peace, Timothy
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i love this. so many times have i felt the exact same way. i am also an ex cutter but right now im really struggling with starting it all over again.
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its dark in every seance of the word hemmm grate job
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great poem
cutting doesnt realy work believe me ive tried it expression is the best method and its less painful
thats kinda the reason why im here
----------------------------------
i can understand what ur going through
ive been through it all
but promise me you wont
decide to take the fall -
so as you think of me tonight,
think if you'd stayed it would be alright,
i laugh at your tears that was your fault,
despite how you loved me,
you left me there,
so imagine my dead body,
as you sleep tonight,
ill be in your dreams,
to scare you,and to bring you fright..
very poignant and erudite writing -
wow, that was a great poem, i actually felt the pain that is being delivered.
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WOW! I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS ALL I CAN THINK OF IS WOW!
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spectacular
Well I have to say this beautful piece left me speechless, to the point that I'm really not quite sure what to say. However, I will tell you that I can relate to just about everything ecept the cutting part. I've never been one to do so, granted it has crossed my mind.
You have done an excellent job on this piece. I do love it. It is very much to my liking. You do well, please continue it!
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I think everyone at one point in life has been a "cutter" or thought about self-mutilation. I don't think any person could get through life without a thought of suicide . . . Everyone thinks about it at one point in time. I like this piece a lot, it's spooky, deep, and the ending is great. If you ever need someone to talk to, though, you can message me any time.
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i wish i could help you young people
stop hurting yourself
its so painful to even read aboput our beautiful young people hurting theirselves it realy hurts my heart
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Wow you should win something
The first part of this poem hits home a little bit but..as i read more and more...i realise wow..this poem is terribly dark...terribly but not terrible..it's soooo powerful..it could be a black tsunami...it could drown a person who isn't into dark poems..very cool, very strangling and very thrilling..
i cut my wrists up then down,
i think cut my wrists up and down would make this poem more of a bullet...but still..this poem...very good!
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wow another great poem i really like the words you use to express your feelings huniii xxxxx mwah
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Chills galore from this perspective. A ghoul coming back to curse the unlucky one or some demented soul who pretends to be dead to get revenge. Whatever way i read this, the view is clear as day to scare the living daylights out of someone.. Liked it, to an onlooker, this could possibly be seen as comic, but cautious doing that!
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What a haunting piece! I really like this one... I used to cut, so I feel the emotions in this one... wonderfully penned. Keep it up!
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wow, this is a really good poem. i like it
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wow,
Man dat gud, u write how i feal 2 heart, reeali nice, reali it is
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This one has some spelling and usage errors, but, nevertheless, it was still not a bad piece of work
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You certainly brought me fright, tonight, all right?
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I fell over with laughter after the first few lines and simply could read no more. I love things like this. Please put me on your ignore list to spare further side-splitting.
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good stuff. been thru that far too many times. landing me in the hospital too. love makes you crazy n i would truly die for it. is there a better reason? not to me.
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You are my favorite poet
Your poems have a way to relate and so much truth to them.
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Judge Says
Honey I cut too. It is a bad habit and we both should stop but it's all about to us to stop. I tried it worked for awhile but stuff happens. I did find it to my liking! Actually I love it! Thank you for entering and Good Luck!
~Dommi -
Let darkness protect you.
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Some great poetry here, raw and dark...perfect for the contest, well written, thanks for entering and good luck
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I love it. Im a cutter too trying to stop it's like smoking not so easy to quit...lol
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Interesting... I like this poem, but there's something I don't like that I just can't put my fnger on. Sorry bout that, other than whatever my problem is, this is some greatwork.
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you can really feel your pain in this, and poetically, i have to say i love the twist in the end that demands he take notice of your pain and you will haunt him because of it. Very well done...however, on a more personal note, i hope that you find or have found a peace in who you are and if you havent yet, my advice is to keep penning. as much as you possibly can because i went through a similar situation and my venting through my poetry is what eventually made me find peace. this was an awesome write, thank you for sharing
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