rain falls sated
on three days' wet
while heaven mates with earth
forcing birds to flock together
causing roads to become running streams
finally gray skies flood
into three rivers
rushing oceanward
towards dreams of eternal origin
two children walk hand-in-hand
I recollect once again how you
-- the twilight a crown on your fair hair --
tried to drown me
pushing my head under water
holding me in that burn of suffocation
until the flush of fire inside
launched me to the surface
away from you
and your gripping
mocking
hands
muted in a rosary of prayers
I watch with dry eyes
fearlessly linking lost feelings
gather debris of dispersed thoughts
and thank God for the dove
dripping with hope
that perches
silently
on the gazebo
awaiting the sun
and I remember
how you drowned in despair
quivering
in the alcove
of his Love
Author notes
Things we lost in the fire.
Floods in Eden.
In a list
A contest entry
- Things we lost in the fire... by Jai Guru Deva.
500 points, ended January 26, 2008, 85 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This was breathtaking. I'm actually speechless.
It was amazing. I love the drowning metaphor. Very nice touch. Great imagery. You almost lost me with the river thing until you got to the point of being drowned in the midst of serenity. I wasn't quite sure where you were going until you got to the point and blew me away.
Good job, good luck, and thank you for the entry.
All my love, DxD. -
beautifully written.
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This had a few good parts. Had some trouble connecting the parts. And I didn't quite get the " rain falls sated
on thee days' wet " I mean... thee Is an old word for you, right?
On a lighter note this had a good feel to it overall...
(and your comment was the oddest one I've ever recieved. I'm intrigued)
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Funny how things disappear ...
on here ... I am getting paranoid LOL I thought I wrote thRee.
See why I need your comments? LOL yes I do leave odd comments. Hopefully you will learn. 
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memory of drowning. not wanting the rain
There's nothing wrong
You are so strong
You'll float away
To sing your song
Another day
--Ellis
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I could not wait to read another from your pen, and now I can with satisfaction continue my day. There is both 'life' and 'death' and 'sadness' and 'joy' in this poem. I like the way in which you use the elements of nature to define both experience and emotion. Knowing of the flood - this poem speaks to the heart and I have within my mind the picture of wetness, water, and fear that it brings. The drowning in the fire also adds to this, as I happen to know loss in this way. Only memories now to cherish. Frans
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this was a very eclectic write... until the last 3 stanzas.. a tough read.. vut well worth it.... peace and may your pen (or fingers) never get tired... or run out of ink... desi
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Trials of Growth
The continuing purpose is shown and often the carriers come with abrupt and difficult change from our lives. Fears become teachers, and lessons memories. The growth of the seed is not possible without the loss of the flower, and dirt, and water. So much different we are not, for we may cry, wallow, and finally grow from our past. And sometimes, the seed is carried by little wings for better ground. The floating is often blind, but thats what makes it such a miracle. Well said. I truly feel this with recognition.
Now I am replacing the hugs I put here, if they disappear again, there will be someone looking into this.
*HUG*
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Oh how awful for you, the memories of a lifetime can be taken so easily by the fury of nature. The dove brings a symbol in this to say you will survive as they did when the ark opened and the sun shone through again. Love, C
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