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Spun

 

Conjuncture and time will make you
a little unsympathetic to the cause

Indifference has a way of turning your head
whiplash was commonplace after awhile

Spin, spun, twist, crackle lackle

I feel so much better now
freedom of speech and breathing comes easier

Kick up my feet, leave the dishes to sit
dinner not on the table at 5:00 on this night

Yeah life is good now.

 

Author notes

PIF (10 lines)
Prompt: Estrangement

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    January 6, 2008

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    Wow. so pleased to see gold on this piece.

    "whiplash was commonplace after awhile" How well I know this feeling. My favorite line in this poem. Excellent.

    ~Pamela

  • carole21
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    unusual

    well stated for a shorter work . . like "Indifference has a way of turning your head" and "Yeah life is good now" . . congrats on the trophy . . !


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    nice!

    first congrats on the gold, second it's nice to see you in a better place. good write!


  • Bedroom Eyes
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful Michelle! A marvelous take on the prompt!

    I knew it had to be something very special to beat out Bel's piece

    Great job Hun!

    Congrats on your gold cup!!!!


  • pearl-dragon
    November 26, 2007

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    That first breath is amazing, sucking deeply on the sense of freedom. Congratulations on your Gold sweetness.

    Margaret


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    November 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i love 'lackle' well done on gold xx peter


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    November 26, 2007

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    this is a powerful write which really captures the prompt with depth and amazment. well done and congrats on the gold


  • PureRomance
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing poem. You did a wonderful job with this and congrats to winning gold with this. It was well-deserved. God bless you. Keep up the excellent work.


  • poetryality silver member
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes we just have to rid ourselves of whatever is weighing us down. Seems the; "Spin, spun, twist, crackle lackle" did it for you here. The daily regiment of what we must do can get tiresome. Good for you to finally get to breathe. A very original take o the prompt. Thanks for the entry. Good luck!

    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • Tattboyspet
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    DAMN!
    This one took my by surprise!
    EXCELLENT!
    WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
    <<< can't praise enough - three claps will have to suffice


  • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lol no more eggshell to walk on

    well done

1 - 11 of 11