Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

We float down a heated pool.


In delicate fits,
as shackled Sugar people on thin ice,
we float down a heated pool.

 

So Please friend,

Dive in.

 

Doomed to fate,
we'll soon drown.

Venturing into the same confined space,
in the same water.


So Please friend,

Kill us now.

 

A pool,

where particles of our former selves,
will drift through

and haunt each other disguised as peices of memory.

 

 I'll be prepared Friend,

 Break us down.


 After death,
a death like high school,

whatever those pieces once were,

they will be,

unsalvageable. 

 

Through pool filter after pool filter,
we are changed material.

My dear friend,

 

- I'll do it all, just leave.

Author notes

My best friend of four years and I made a necessary break up. We had built a lot of good in each other over the first few years, but we've both changed. Priorities change. I'm low key, and she's restless. A restless that i don't really respect, but still care enough for. Haunting was the right idea. A four year friendship that started to cave in during the fourth year was ended in a month with six months of contemplation, But it was good when it needed to be, and was that growing up kick my legacy was hurting for. I miss her, and I'm going to. but again, I'm proud to have had her touch my life. We loved each other, loyal, dedicated thirteen year old BFF"S. And that's something. But when everything comes to an end, it was just it's time.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • LaVieBohemme
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow... from the title, i didn't know what to expect, but this is amazing! i can relate to this a lot... anyway, great job and best of luck in this contest!
    ~rocklover91


  • downbythestationn
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    enter this in a PW contest!! or something with metaphors. I'm very sorry for your loss, but respect you both for being able to move on and be so mature about it.

  • we lit a flame
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is genius! its difficult to use extended metaphors and apply them so well to exactly what you are trying to convey. You did a wonderful job and your metaphor flows beautifully.