Constant in commitment,
an immaculate inspiration
martyrdom hung in air
like pregnant possibility.
She'd been alone
so self convinced,
her world could draw tight
leaving little room.
I found an ice castle
so rigid, avowed artistry
punctuating insular isolation.
Iceberg adrift in warming seas
splitting silence thundered trauma;
raising the level of oceans,
tides swept overland into sands
beauty blossomed in cold desert night.
And a moment born of meeting,
in farewell first;
"Every time I get tired of this,
you turn into something else that I need,..."
It was as if she'd drunk a case of me
and stood stone sober,
but oh, how the taste lingered.
In a list
A contest entry
- A Case Of You [extended] by Utok Bulinaw.
450 points, ended December 18, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This hooks the reader from beginning to end. I love the rich language here - it's packed with imaginative metaphors and sound alliteration as well. I like how this lingers in the mind, how the thoughts are suspended in the faculties of my imagination. "Every time I get tired of this, you turn into something else that I need" - this line seem so familiar. There's nothing more reassuring than being with someone who constantly strives to give us everything that we need. I believe that we will never get tired of the person whom we are with if we ourselves also will constantly evolve into the person worth having or worth keeping for. Sometimes, it is not our partner who evolves or turns into something we needed or changes to keep us happy; it is we, ourselves who merely adjusts to circumstances and changes our perspective so the one we love will fit into that empty space and becomes the treasure we've been searching for. I'm absolutely impressed with this one. Thank you for this entry.
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So good!
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"She'd been alone
so self convinced,
her world could draw tight
leaving little room."
Absolutely gorgeous, Poet. Good luck in R's contest. Ahhh, I swear I could hear Joni "singing so good for free..." 
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