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ditched.

here she stands in the puring rain
have you ditched her again?

her umbrella broke, just her luck
she got your text, WTF?

you "didnt realise"
you didnt see. she cries and cries

she starts to trudge through the rain
her umbrella just broke again

just then she got a call
its from laura in the mall

"we just saw you walk by,
come inside where it is dry"

come on in, its not far now
well, bob just left." THE COW

she says "sorry but i have to go,
i need to do ballet you know"

she trudges up the kill
passing by the paper mill

your car passes
she mumbes curses

who is that? why its doreen,
the sluttiest slut she's ever seen!

your car stops, you open the door
she crumples slowly to the floor

you help her up and say
"awwrite babe, how was your day?"

she turned and camly walked away
you yelled "i didnt like you anyway"

she drop the things you gave to her
and mumbles incomphrehensible whispers

she drops the necklace and the ring
in fact she drops every damn thing

then she began to sing:
"im free of you, the demon king"

i just had a thought, thats completely and utterly ridiculous!!! NO OFFENCE

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • UncleGus
    November 26, 2007
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    awsome

    clever poem. I really liked it.


  • lost
    November 26, 2007

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    all uir poems are on love u n00b. wierd coz u nvr like dat lol. im in a spaz mood so,......
    spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz . lol. yh. ty for da help jess.

    • i-love-my-bra
      November 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      u do realise

      that only those last two are because of who i saw that morning and i hate him so much i want to puch him but i like him so much!!!!!!!


  • wildbraten
    November 25, 2007

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    Clever Couplets

    One of the more interesteing up and conming poets, Michael Dumanis, winner of the Juniper Prize relies heavily on couplets in his work.

    You seem to be picking up on that contemporary phenomenon.

    Can't figure out if "puring rain" is deliberate or accidental -- either way I;d leave it as a clever use of made up langauge.

    luck & WTF is a priceless rhyme

    I like the drama implied in the piece -- it manages to hold ones interest after the first couple of stanzas.

    A. W.

    • i-love-my-bra
      November 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thanks!

      thanks for commenting i cant remember if i meant to put puring or not but its a cool onamatapaea. i just realised i didnt mean to put it but thanks for noticing for me. my writing is always full of typos

1 - 6 of 6