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Halt


soft poet hands steady yet strong sing sweet peace

to faltering butterfly tattered and torn wishing for rest


he does not seek capture; offering only a safe place to fall

holding her gently within poetry and palm his heart breaks


longing to whisper I love you, I need you, please stay

but fearing he will frighten her away he remains silent


failing to see the love notes to him upon her still wings

that say I love you, I need you, I wish to stay with you


for only a man with kind soul shall gain her elusive trust

halting her fear and flight by opening his heart...and hers

Author notes

picture courtesy of mysticstorm
10 lines

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • ForsakenOne74
    December 6, 2007

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    Soft...passionately penned, and wonderfully written, congrats on the win, this was a beautiful, inspiring, thought provoking piece. Love...nothing greater, big or small.


  • cyBie
    December 6, 2007

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    I can see why this is a winner

    your have set a great mood and feel coupled with the pic with iot. I am glad you won and I look forward to reading more
    Blessings

  • Eusebius
    December 6, 2007

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    bravo

    Ah, so very rooooomantic, indeed! and just about as soft as it can possibly be.... bravo... bravo... bravo..

  • he is my world
    December 6, 2007

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    i love the picture you put on here. it is a wonderful write of love. congrats on the trophies. and thanks for sharing this


  • grannyeri gold member
    December 6, 2007

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    Likd the alliteration in these couplets; and the wonderful feeling of love expressed so well in them. Lovely silver and gold winner for all to read.


  • tara wilson gold member
    December 5, 2007

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    this is absolutely beautiful..reminds me of how I feel about someone..I love this SO much..beautiful, congrats and so deserving of the gold and silver


    • Tam
      December 6, 2007
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      thank you beautiful...

      this is one of my personal fav writes...
      you are too kind...as always!
      Love,
      Tammy


  • mysticstorm gold member
    December 5, 2007

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    Sis,
    this was beautiful before...but the added lines and words make it all the more so...so beautiful and heartfelt...beautiful imagery and breathtaking sensitivity...amazing as always.

    True beauty from your heart.

    Love


  • BigE
    December 5, 2007

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    Impressive

    great write, this poem is one heck of a poem. I loved how you've painted a picture in the readers mind using emotional-imagery. If there was one thing I would change about this poem, it would be written by me instead of you!

    Keep writing!


  • Barry Hodges silver member
    December 5, 2007
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    Confusing.


  • vici377
    December 5, 2007

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    wow wonderful interpretation of the pic

    what an amazing write..no wonder you captured the trophies..this write gives you just a little more..halting her fear and flight by opening his heart...and hers. Fantastic write..love the ending..


  • storiesuntold gold member
    December 5, 2007
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    Very nice write

    So delecatly done as though she were a fragil butterflt so small


  • LadyUnique silver member
    December 5, 2007

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    how very soothing this is, yet it's also sad. two who want the same thing, feel the same way and are afraid to say so. it gives hope that there is love and also shows how you sometimes need to speak straight from the heart


  • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
    December 5, 2007

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    Interesting... a pretty poem, but I think even you could have done it better, though I'm not sure how, as this is good...


  • Puppydog gold member
    December 1, 2007

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    EVER SO LOVELY AND SWEET!!!!

    It is our words and our very souls bringing them out for the world to read that bring a soothing and relaxing feeling to others.


  • butterflywriter
    December 1, 2007
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    this could be my lifesong...

    WOW!!!brought tears to my eyes...


  • paulcreates silver member
    December 1, 2007

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    breathless

    I've rarely been immersed in such sensitivity - such a glimpse into the resonance shared between two individuals. Extremely well done Tammy. Three moosies.


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    November 27, 2007

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    WOW...
    Just wow. II love fairies (they are real you know I have met some, one on here), and this caught more than my attention, but a piece of my heart. The tale is not just fantasy, but fantastic! I am always amazed at your diversity. Hugs and awe inspired sighs!

    Blessed be,
    Billie Jean

    P.S.
    I swiped the pic, and if I use it will give credit. LOL

  • mysticstorm gold member
    November 26, 2007
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    Very beautiful take on the picture. How lovely and heartfelt. I love the ending as it ties it together so well with understanding and love.
    Thank you for entering!


  • Mirthryl
    November 26, 2007

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    Lovely "holding her gently within poetry and palm". Very nice parallelism between his and her wishes. Insightful "failing to see the love notes to him upon her still wings" (too often a communication the sender sees as perfectly clear is undecipherable to the receiver). Line one, possibly a different word than "yet", as 'steady' is not generally associated only with 'weak'? I think the title is a bit harsh for the delicacy of the write--impresses me immediately as a military command rather than an indication of an exhausted fairy pause, and the gentle invitation that follows. Nice ending couplet. The picture and thoughts also brought to mind a poet and his Muse!


  • Grey Mouser
    November 25, 2007

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    Truly beautiful as only you can accomplish. You ever amaze me with such wonder that flows from your muse.

    Two souls rewarded with the other yet timid from past trials that have colored their worlds. Shining for the other and blinded by the light.

    SO very soft and wonderfully written dear sis. All my best to you in the contest.

    Mouser

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