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"Sweet Death"

Let me sleep, let me die
Beyond the veil of  life
So I could  have peace
After having life's knife

Now as I  have  tasted
The sweetest pain and wounds
Let me end my life now
And have a grave in ground

I wanna enjoy the death
An' the darkness of grave
Where I can lay with peace
My last breath where I'ould save

I've endured all the cuts
That life and friends gave me
Now the last thing that's left
Is the arm of death on me

In a list

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Comments


  • kamranAslam
    November 25, 2007

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    OH great piece of poetry .really.I couldnt expect that.You are very much good poet especially you are on top of that who are not english speakers.


  • FransB gold member
    November 25, 2007

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    The title is a good choice, and compliments the poem's content. I normally do not read such content, but was attracted to your title. I did also view your profile. Some comments:
    1. "So i could have peace" - I suggest the ' i ' be capitalised - see your 1st stanza.
    2. "My last breath where I'ould save" - I am not sure what you are trying to say.
    3. "I'ave endured all the cuts" - perhaps "I'ave..." should be 'I've..."
    Further to this, I have enjoyed your poem. The 'simplistic' choice of words make this a striking poem. I would like to recommend dat you also write of 'joyous' life...I have this feeling that you would be good at this. Frans.