Christmas, oh christmas
what shall I say
family and love
with glory abound
presents of colour
like inscence and mir
childrens faces
smiles as big as rainbows
the birth of Christ
oh holy night
Christmas, oh Christmas
what more can I say.....
A contest entry
- Christmas from New Perspectives by micol.
800 points, ended December 10, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You captures the images of the season well. The poem would have been stronger with greater emphasis on spelling and structure, but as a personal response to the season, it worked well.
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Thanks for entering the contest. I like the rhythms of the piece but there are a number of spelling/grammar problems that keep it from being as effective as it might. “Christmas” is conventionally capitalized, as you did in the first word of the poem; then the caps drop out. “Colur,” “incence,” “muir,” and “chrismas” need to be checked. “Childrens” should be “children’s.”
Please consider revising and polishing the poem; it deserves it.
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