Once I had dreams of a life with a mate
now all that's left is a soul filled with hate
So follow close and be just like me
rotting in chains for all to see
All I wanted was to be with you
Never realizing that with me you were through
Now all that's left of me is a mess
a yawning chasm of emptiness
I thought that you and I would be together
Happy and blissful forever
So skin me alive as I rip myself free
of the last vestiges of humanity
my best friends are a rope and a tree
Helping me to fly so free
So put the gun in my face, and with one last squeeze
End my life, such a hateful disease
So release the pain
Turn yourself into a bloodstain
One me who will notice another hanging scar
There is no happiness just lies and death
So let me put myself to eternal rest
How I wish things turned out differently
Where you weren't far away, I was trying to swing from a tree
Cut myself with a razor of pain
and let all disease flow from my veins
A misfit I am and a misfit I'll be
As despair steals all life from me
I long for a girl to be here
One whom I can love year upon year
How empty that hope seems to me
As sorrow and pain won't let me free
A carnival of horrors is all I can be
Hello, my name is Hellbound Shadow, and can't you see
Last night I realized nobody loved me.
Author notes
This poem is dedicated to all the freaks out there who like me haven't ever had a girl hug or kiss them. This poem is dedicated to all the people who's lives are messed up and can't do anything to fix it.. But most of all this poem is dedicated to the girl who inspired it.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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wow this is soo good, sad but good. i loved it. keep up the good work!
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Your work made me cry! If it can do so, it deserves my praise, and I feel your pain! You sure aren't alone, not that is any compensation, I know. X
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Wow this is very dark. I like it lol. But anyway I like the way that you have three types of suicides in it very good keep writing
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This is really good. However on line 7 you put the apostrophe in that's in the wrong spot and in line 9 you forgot the last t in that. Don't give up hope someday you'll get a girl and life won't seem so bad.
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I have at least 2 friends that are over 25 and still virgins .. I'm sure it's difficult, but, seriously, relationships can comlicate things more than they help. The only good thing I've gotten out of my past relationships is my daughter, Meara Dawn.
I think you used some really creative rhymes here .. (death/rest) I thought it was pretty neat that the only non-rhyming line I saw was 19, which is a little over half way through the poem .. it kind of seperated it into two different parts. -
I think that there is some really strong emotion in this piece and I really enjoyed reading it.
"I long for a girl to be here
One whom I can love year upon year
How empty that hope seems to me
As sorrow and pain won't let me free
A carnival of horrors is all I can be
Hello, my name is Hellbound Shadow, and can't you see
Last night I realized nobody loved me."
was my favorite part
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yo
strong imagery and emotion. just misspelled thats in line 7. other than that a necessary expression and great dedication.
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Intense write!
Strong emotions expressed in your words. It's amazing how love can cause such intense agony and intense happiness. You'll love again and it'll be better than this. We can't always help what life does to us, I think being messed up is just part of it. I wouldn't recognize feeling good without the despair.
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great
wow i love it...
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I love the emotion in this. It makes me wonder why we search for love when it hurts so much sometimes...
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Line seven, you have "tha'ts" instead of "that's"; line eight, you have "emptyness" instead of "emptiness"; line nine, you have "tha" instead of "that"; line nineteen, I think "on" at the beginning would make more sense than "one"; line twenty, you have "happyness" instead of "happiness"... apart from those little mistakes, this is a very emotive poem and you have written it with so much honest emotion that it tears at the readers heart... I'm sure you've been told not to give up many times, so I won't add to the bunch - but this poem is very good and I can imagine that you will go far with your poetry - it would be a shame to lose that talent... good luck, I wish you the best
Keep writing
Polly
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This is wow.. I have been here and i use to write this way.. man.. this is intense..
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I, as a personal thing, dislike poems about suicide/cutting/ etc. HOWEVER, I did enjoy this poem. I started reading it and sort of sighed, but once I got to the lines:
Now all tha'ts left of me is a mess
a yawning chasm of emptyness
I dropped that attitude entirely. I love that image! So much!
I would really like to see a poem of yours without rhyme. I think it would be really good. Let me know when you've got a good one you think I should read and I'll check it out. -
this is, well it is what it is and that is all that it is or so would say popeye i think you really showed yourself on this one so nice job cabbage head
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So follow close and be just like me
rotting in chains for all to see
All I wanted was to be with you
Never realizing that with me you were through
Now all tha'ts left of me is a mess
a yawning chasm of emptyness
hey i love this its great and dont worry you will find someone i promise a secret for you (iv never kissed a boy and im half way decient looking) so i guess thats not really a secret anymore but o well lol
anyways loved the poem its great
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You really bare your soul here. All I can think to say is hang in there and know your not alone. A group of misfits is the most honest and beautiful of all friendships becuase each person is unique and amazing. Girls aren't the only conduits to peace and happiness and I truly hope you find whatever makes you content again.
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Oooh!
This was great.. It was very sad, the emotions in it are great..I understand where you are coming from.. I am an outcast as well.. I believe there are some words that are mispelled but only a few and it really doesn't mess up the flow you have here.. but anyway sometimes we wait for something that we never thought we could have.. I loved it..
Peace to you, J. -
hmm cant say i ENJOYED reading this, because that would be a weird form of entertainment, but as a poem, and an expressio.. i loved it,You made it flow well, and you have putten so much meaning and emotion to alost every line. As for you..well..dont get your self down. you will be ok i am sure. -eleno
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the dedication is what tightens this poem up a bit...all in all, a mouthful of despise strewn throughout a decently penned peice, yo i know some girls that will kiss anyone for a dollar, want their number?
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I really enjoy the rhyme in this poem, I also like the way you play with your words. The topic is good too, but to be honest you might just pulled it a bit too far out. Do not take it wrong, the truth in it was good but a little bit too much.
But I still enjoyed it a lot, your a good writer and I think I will take a look on some of your other work.
Keep up the good writing!
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This was a good read. A lot of pain in this poem. It flowed very well, I just wanted to keep reading it to see how it would end.
Well done.
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love some times can be empty and dark. U wrote that very well. I feel ya!
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Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but i really think that short and sweet would've worked better here. I understand that you'd have a lot to say considering the subject in question and that you'd feel compelled to express every single ounce of your anger and frustration etc etc, but for me, this piece was a little too long and a little too drab. When i started reading it, i got really into it and liked the way you rhymed and played with your words, but when i scrolled down and saw the rest of your piece, i have to admit that it came off as a little daunting and totally put me off reading the rest of it. Upon reading your note on the piece, i did get a better understanding as to why it was so lengthy and infused with so much destruction and hatred, but alas, i still do believe that if you has only just harnessed your words a little, it've turned out even better. Though, don't get me wrong, sometimes you just need to get everything out when you're caught in that moment. I did, however, like the raw intensity. Nice work
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oh my gosh, i knew someone with these similar issues, he found a hot-mamma, got a fam with 2 kids....yet he's very miserable
go figure!
i really enjoyed the expression, choice of words and the guidance to be like you.
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Powerful, the anger is easily seen without a heap of profanities. Very emotional and expressive. I also liked the ideas of "a carnival or horrors" and "a Hellbound Shadow".
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Well done my friend. I liked where you took this reader's mind and thoughts. Great emotion and imagery in this. Thanks for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
What a piece of pouring the soul inside out,
well written with emotion of thought exprressed well,
well written & a good insight to have read
well done
Tracey -
As an outpouring of bile and hate for someone who has hurt you this is very nicely put.
BUT perhaps having now drawn breath you may wish to go tidy it up a bit with spell check and grammar.
overall (to me) a very nice piece, With errors corrected however it would rate as awseome. -
thy words fall with crimson tears where one feels serrated and cut to the bone...
shattered through all the pain where dreams have become nightmares...leaving one empty!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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aww...
angel loved you... you were one of her best friends... she talked about you non-stop and always had something good to say about you... she still loves you even though shes not here to tell you :-(
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dude, just to say, EVERYONE'S life is messed up and they can't fix it... sorry to say... ha. nice poem though. keep it up! and I luvz ya!!!! u know I do!
Crimson -
A good place to find a lovely girl....
Church is a fine place to find a girl who might end up accepting a kiss from you! 
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U have never had a girl kiss you!!!!! that i should fix. and i hug all my friends. i love this poem but its not true. someone can love you. i mean hell i just had to leave my husband for fighting all the time. but i still feel loved by my mother and father. if it counts i love u and i wanted to be with you.
Diamond
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I appreciate your comment about finding love...
Yes, we can find love if we look, and especially if we give love. I am glad you feel your parents' love.
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