I sucked the wine from your wounds
Like a mosquito
Crush me and I will stain.
I couldn’t bear
being toasted by your light…
Show me signs of suffering
And I will ignite the alcohol in your mind
Sometimes I’d like to incinerate my lips
In case I drink your soul…
“A toast to us!”
We cheer for a while
Then I ask you across the table
To pass me the newspaper
I spat the red wine on your black and white face…
Case of youth, case of crime,
Case of you, of me
Now you're in a case.
Could I be a gardener
And grow a vineyard on your grave?
Crush me and I will stain you.
You disobeyed the commandment
And bled like a broken bottle of wine…
(There aren't no stars in the detritus…)
I put out the Northern light
And my sleeve caught fire.
Author notes
"aren't no stars" written on purpose that way
based on "A Case Of You"
HnKs!!!
In answer to comment on poem:
The mosquito thing is supposed to show the irrevelance a tiny being has... How proud it was, too proud.
After a reread, I do agree it may sound weird in the middle of this piece... hmm
A contest entry
- A Case Of You [extended] by Utok Bulinaw.
450 points, ended December 18, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does this piece evoke a religious theme?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This piece does evoke a religous theme, but then, that depends on how the reader reads the piece. The wording used in this piece leaves it open to interpretation from the reader, letting the reader tell their own tale with it, tales that can vary widly depending on how you read it, which is great, I wont go into detail about the different tales I saw in this piece when reading and re-reading it as I don't want to influence anyones thinking on the piece (not to mention one of the interpretations was entirely distrubing).
Good write.
-
kwl
awesome
-
-
aw thanks
-
-
"Crush me and I will stain."
"Could I be a gardener
And grow a vineyard on your grave?"
Those lines for me, stand out in this write. The poem is rather abstract. It invites different kinds of interpretation from the reader. I'm not really sure about the mosquito thing as I think the opening line will still be effective without it. I also like the ending in this one. It gives the feeling of being surprised. This is well written. Thank you for this entry.
-
vraiment une artiste
I can't quite comprehend all of it [but there is no need to explain] as I made my own interpretation, and in poetry I feel that is sometimes necessary [that the artiste has certain intentions----but the reader is allowed to draw their own conclusions. This reaches beyond the norm by the stretch of creativity and imagination and definitely deserves high accolades
sending my love as well....and merci for stopping by one of mine always is it appreciated
reenie
-
Fantastic
Tu n'as pas fini de m'epoustoufler... ou est-ce que c'est parce que je n'ai pas lu un seul de tes poemes depuis longtemps et que j'ai oublie ton genie? Non, je crois vraiment que tu as fait des progres enormes (oui, on dirait un prof qui parle, mais ca n'est pas intentionne). Geez! Je te jure, je le trouve fantastique! C'est vrai que je ne comprends pas tout, mais ne dis rien, si j'ai le temps apres samedi, je peux t'ecrire une analyse si tu veux... ca te dit? lol.
HnKs.
Jar.
-
Tu vie encore!
Great poem, i missed reading your work so much.
You've still got it in you =]
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
