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Little Soldiers

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Little Soldiers

 

 

 

The tree stood tall and proud in a corner of the hall,

brightly coloured lights throwing patterns on the wall.

 

Holly boughs and berries strewn all around the room,

candles flickered on the hearth, warming winter's gloom.

 

This year would be different, Grandma came to stay

sitting by the fireside, while children sat at play.

 

Family all gathered round for one last Christmas chore,

the decorations in a box, waiting by the door.

 

Baubles, bells and tinsel, a fairy for the top,

candy canes and Santas, now it’s time to stop.

 

Children sent upstairs to bed, the hour was getting late,

one small box was left in the bottom of the crate.

 

Grandma sat and stroked the lid, tears were in her eyes;

she had no need to wonder, for she knew the surprise.

 

Little wooden soldiers with chipped and tarnished paint,

not brash and bright and shiny, to some a little quaint.

 

Each one with love was crafted by her husband’s caring hand,

she kissed their tiny faces, to her they looked so grand.

 

She hung them on the tree as a teardrop hit the floor,

her mind transported back to so many years before.

 

If only he could see them now, there in pride of place;

before her eyes an image of her Harry’s handsome face.

 

This would be a Christmas that she’d feel his presence near,

surrounded by her family all wrapped in Christmas cheer.

 

Christmas morning bright and early children from their beds,

rushing round the house, thoughts of presents filled their heads.

 

Grandma sat contented as she watched their happy faces,

toys, games and wrapping paper filled up empty spaces.

 

After lunch a quieter time children gather round,

Grandma tells of Grandpa and the soldiers they have found.

 

She stands them on the table in regimented rows,

she smiles as each one’s placed, the pride within her grows.

 

He made a soldier every year to put upon the tree;

the first, the day their son was born, ‘til he was twenty three.

 

Over years his skill increased, they soon became his art,

but the day their son was killed, was the day he lost his heart.

 

So far away from home he was fighting foreign wars,

he lay down his precious life fighting for a cause.

 

 

Grandma’s getting tired now and needs a little rest,

she settles by the fire clutching soldiers to her breast.

 

Her eyes grow dim and heavy as she dreams of days gone by;

her Harry standing by her side;

 

she smiles;

 

her last goodbye.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I have written a follow - up poem and below is the link.

http://allpoetry.com/poem/4256399

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 99 of 152     1 2  next >  (show all)
  • on-wings gold member
    2 days ago
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    It's very good, slightly haunting and nostalgic


  • Daxteriana
    2 days ago
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    Shockingly beautiful, dear poet. Quite a poem, but you left me wondering. Did she die before the children? If she did...well, that's plain disturbing. Other than that, crafted with the hand of a true poet.

    Rhyme, plot, and the characters were placed well too.

    Great narrative, Sue.

    Good luck in the contest and great job getting the two honorable mentions, the bronze, and the silver trophies. I'm quite proud, but also in a thoughtful mood. Why not win the Top Notch Poems About Christmas? It was brilliant poem, but the trophies don't have to say anything. The words themselves whisper meaning and sadness to the reader.


    ~♥~Dax~♥~


  • Dalaney gold member
    2 days ago
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    agh, this gets me like an arrow to the heart. Beautiful rhyme, but oh, what a story!


  • Andre ben-YEHU
    2 days ago
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    Edit | Reply

    Sublimely composed...


    Wonderful family story-poem... "Little Soldiers" is a glowing star in every way poetic magnificence stands.

    I have enjoyed the reading of "Little Soldiers" for its contents and poetic Beauty.

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      2 days ago
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      Thank you Andre for reading and leaving a comment.

      I appreciate it very much.

      Sue
      x


  • Wearealldead
    2 days ago
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    Realy nice I like it

  • Yellowbea
    2 days ago
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    Edit | Reply
    very warm, melancholic and touching. minutely and nicely crafted. well done


  • RikkiRae silver member
    2 days ago
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    I expected a poem like so many Christmas poems but this one took me a little by surprise. It truly is a beautiful poem and while the ending is very sad, I feel that it adds an additional dimension to this poem. It is indeed well done.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      2 days ago
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      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for your comment, I'm glad you liked this poem. Christmas isn't always a happy time, I lost my Mun 5 years ago and Christmas is always tinged with sadness for me.

      Thanks again.

      Sue

  • knestrip
    November 26
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    a really beautiful story you have told here but it is so very sad

  • knestrip
    November 26
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    a really beautiful story you have told here but it is so very sad

  • justfornow
    November 25
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    So beautiful and sad!
    I loved it from start to finish. Best of luck in this contest.

    Wonderful poem to read aloud.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 25
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      Thank you very much for reading my poem, I appreciate it and I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment.

      Sue
      x


  • Jesann gold member
    November 25
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    Congratulations on all the trophies.
    A very beautiful poem...I loved the story told.
    The imagery, rhyme and flow ..all wonderful.
    Very touching.
    Excellent work.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 25
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      Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment, i appreciate it.

      Sue


  • Fujin1337
    November 24
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    great write,
    I'll be back to read more later


  • Aribeth
    November 24
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    Love it!

    I absolutely adore that picture you've put on. It's a very warm poem and i like it a lot. I'll give you 3 claps hun x


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 25
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      Many thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
      Thanks for the clappies as well.

      Sue

  • George Rodrigues
    November 24
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    Beautiful, touching poem with great Christmas imagery of a final Christmas tinged with sadness.


  • NewJen
    November 24
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    So Sad...

    You made me really feel the sad & yet the hint of family tender sweetness.


  • xTroubled-Teenx
    November 24
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    This is really touching. I loved this piece of work. You have some amazing talent and I am very glad you have shared that with us. I am so glad to read this and very glad that it is on the favorite list. I hope this poem touches everyone like it has touched me. Good luck with all.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 24
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      Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it very much and I'm so happy you liked the poem.

      Sue


  • gemini48
    November 24
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    beautiful

    this poem has eveything you can ask for. love, loss, fond memories. family. just a lovly poem


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 24
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      Thank you for your lovely comment, I'm glad you enjoyed reading the poem.

      Sue
      x


  • xpowder
    November 24
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    amazing!

    You have lots of awards for this poem and it's very much deserved.. Always keep writing!

    hearts,
    ~tiara♥

  • CasusVir gold member
    November 24
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    wow Ms Sue this is incredible. I really love it. Very sad and heartfelt and thee emotional pull from this on is strong. The rhyme ad flow are great as well. I really like this one.


  • awannabepoet
    November 22
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    The holidays are coming and this adds a little something to the mounting anticipation.

    Thank you so very much Sue for sharing this great poem and your wonderful talent.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you for your comment. Christmas is a time for the young and the young at heart... so enjoy the holiday to come

      Sue
      x


  • Amera gold member
    November 22
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    A ture delight to read in rhyming couplets. I am so glad to start to see Christmas poems, I love Christmas!!! This is a pure joy!

    Love,
    Amera


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      I love Christmas as well ... thanks for your lovely comment.

      Love
      Sue

  • Tresimskaslessae
    November 22
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    It has beautiful rhyme. Sometimes I feel like words are only used to rhyme but not so much for their meaning, these sound like they only rhymed by happen chance, each word adds to the meaning and momentum of the piece, it has a simple beauty, but does not tie in with the soldiers, you could definitely elaborate on the ending . .

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for such a lovely comment. I did write a poem called 'Tom' that is in actual fact a prequal to this poem, but I decided to end this as Grandma died.

      Sue
      x

  • secondside1
    November 22
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    GREAT.

    That was wowing. It was touching and so real. You are spectacular and very talented. The poem was beutiful and I read it to the end, it was just so great. It was wonderful, and that's all I can say.


  • CountryCousin
    November 22
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    Wonderful.

    You put an extra touch to this piece, it is magnificent. I love this story and find it wonderfully sentimental. I believe we all have similiar ornaments that we love. Two of my brothers was a glow in the dark donkey and a red plastic penguin. They were Bakelite. He was killed in a drunken driver accident in 1954. My mother kept the ornaments he had bought but those two were my favorite. Thanks for a great story.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem ... I'm sorry it bought back memories for you but I hope they were good ones.
      i still have my mothers ornaments, they have become a bit of a family heirloom.

      Sue


  • csmmoms2
    November 22
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    Very touching and very real. What a talent you have! -c


  • Arisaurus
    November 22
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    Wow, I absolutely loved this. I usually don't look forward to Christmas, but this took me back to my childhood in the beginning. You rhymed beautifully, and I'm definitely jealous. You are an amazing, talented writer.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you so much for both the comment and the compliment ... Christmas is a time to be enjoyed ... so make the most of it.

      Sue

  • binkhattab
    November 22
    Edit | Reply

    WOOOW

    This is such an amazing piece good job


  • Amanda K. Martin
    November 22
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    this made me excited to start the holidays!!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you for your comment, may all your wishes come true this Christmas.

      Sue


  • ShotInTheDark
    November 22
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    The rhyming adds to the poem, overall a great job!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Many thanks for your comment, most appreciated.

      Sue


      • ShotInTheDark
        November 23
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        No problem ...

        Is the picture one of the actual soldiers?

        • Sue Cardwell gold member
          November 23
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          Unfortunately, no, I wish they had been, but if they had been made by Grandpa I think they would have been more unique and one would have been Tom in his uniform. For the rest of the story there is a pre-qual to this called Tom, explaining all about their son.


  • purgatorycomatose
    November 22
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    It's an incredibly simple poem to read and enjoy, it makes its point without any complications and yet is quite starkly emotional as well.


  • Pkwiki
    November 22
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    I loved reading this. Mostimes a poem with this much rhyming would make me dislike it, however it works. Brilliantly.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Many thanks for reading my poem (despite the rhyming!) and leaving a positive comment.

      Sue
      x


  • Gwenevere
    November 22
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    I can see why this poem has won so many trophies.It certainly pulls at the heartstrings and shows the emotional side of Christmas, a time that can stir up so many memories, good and bad.Well done on an excellent write.I hope you are well, Ros


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Many thanks Ros, I appreciate the comment and let's hope we all have a great Christmas

      Sue

  • sussac coir
    November 22
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    Hi what a beautifull and emotive poem, whilst reading this i felt i was there i can picture the poem prefectly, i love the lines She hung them on the tree as ateardrop hits the floor, her mind transported back to so many years before, well done

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you for your lovely comment, I'm glad I was able to transport you to the warmth of the fire place on Christmas Eve.

      Sue


  • Lucifers Angel
    November 22
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    This was the first poem I read today. I loved it. I couldn't stop smiling while reading it simply because it reminded me of my family during christmas time, as I'm sure it did everyone else. This poem is beautiful. I can't wait to read more.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you for your lovely comment and may you and your family have a great Christmas holiday in 2009.

      Sue


  • Nikonic Freak silver member
    November 22
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    Edit | Reply
    This is SO beautiful!
    It's not what I expected when I started to read the poem - you surprised me in a very pleasant manner. :]
    My favorite part:
    "Little wooden soldiers with chipped and tarnished paint,
    not brash and bright and shiny, to some a little quaint.

    Each one with love was crafted by her husband’s caring hand,
    she kissed their tiny faces, to her they looked so grand.

    She hung them on the tree as a teardrop hit the floor,
    her mind transported back to so many years before.

    If only he could see them now, there in pride of place;
    before her eyes an image of her Harry’s handsome face.

    This would be a Christmas that she’d feel his presence near,
    surrounded by her family all wrapped in Christmas cheer."


    Just epic. Thanks for sharing!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Thank you for reading and leaving such a nice comment ... it's much appreciated.

      Sue

  • StarLight29
    November 22
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    love this

    I love this, i think it should have got gold tho
    doesnt seem fare that this hasnt got what it deserves


  • Ani Grace
    November 22
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    Her eyes grow dim and heavy as she dreams of days gone by;
    her Harry standing by her side,
    she smiles,
    her last goodbye.

    This is remarkable.
    But I'm left speechless.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Many thanks for reading and leaving a comment that is very much appereciated.

      Sue


  • Debbydoes
    November 22
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    this is beautifully written.

    at the 7th couplet, did you mean 'within' instead of 'werein' '?

    were in, perhaps?

    "So far away from home he was fighting foreign wars,
    he lay down his precious life fighting for a cause."

    you did such a great job of rhyming all the way down to this...war and cause, I would perhaps go back over that one and see if it could be rewritten.

    an almost perfect write. I'd just go back over it with a fine tooth comb, perhaps drop the semicolon after 'she smiles' in that last line.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment and for reading. If you read again it isn't 'war' and 'cause' that I'm rhyming, but 'wars' and 'cause', which do rhyme in my language.

      Sue

  • Bob Fox
    November 22
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    Edit | Reply

    Sue

    How wonderful a write. The shame is that those grandpa's who fought for our rights & the right to say MERRY CHRISTMAS must be turning over in their graves at those today so bent on Socialist political correctionism. But I am proud of you , Grandma & I salute Grandpa , for he knows you are fighting to good & just fight. Excellent write Sue.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      November 23
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      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Bob for your comment ... let's hope we can all say 'Happy Christmas', for many more years to come

      Sue
      x


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    Sue...You take my breath away.....I don't care what anyone says this is GOLD...
    Love Lu xx

  • ecrivain01
    October 23
    Edit | Reply

    It's an excellent poem ...

    and certainly a poignant one. The erratic punctuation is the major drawback, of course, as you likely already know. In line 4, you forgot the apostrophe in "winter's".

    I'd recommend that you send this out for possible publication, as it's a good job overall. I don't believe that posting the poem here would necessarily count as publication, since this is a workshop site. The New Yorker or the Atlantic would not be likely to agree with me but you wouldn't send this there anyway.

    I have no idea if this will place here or not, since there will undoubtedly be many more entries before mid-December, and there's no telling what the quality of those entries might be, but there's always a possibility.

    Thanks for entering and good luck with your writing in the future.


  • UncleDunk gold member
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    Grandma’s getting tired now and needs a little rest
    she settles by the fire clutching soldiers to her breast

    That big sigh, that intake of breath that men get when they can't cry, cause, well, we've been trained not to, that happened right at the above two lines.


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is so very sad yet so well writen. For some reason this part didn't seem to flow as smoothly as the others:

    Far away from home he was fighting foreign wars
    he lay down his precious life fighting for a cause

    I liked the descriptions in this and the emotion, as well as the style in which you wrote it. A very good poem.

  • SimplySonnets gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply

    love the couplets, and the sadness but inspirational language.

    This is a lovely trip into human sentiments, of course shared by many of our older citizens. This very cleverly structured tale is a credit to its author, would I cry, yes! coming to it for the first time, unfortunatly I dont as,I am one of those older generation when such pain seemed more common.

    Liked

    Little wooden soldiers with chipped and tarnished paint

    not brash and bright and shiny, to some a little quaint



    Each one with love was crafted by her husband’s caring hand

    she kissed their tiny faces to her they looked so grand
    Perhaps, in her view each one represented someones lost son.
    The lost son will bring many tears, to all who hate the idea of state aided death. good read, loved your language, hope you do well.

  • Michael P gold member
    February 18
    Edit | Reply
    beautifullywritten. The flow was flawless and the story great. thanks I enjoyed the read...peace

  • LovingPhoenix
    February 18

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!!

    I loved reading this! You wrote it in such a way, that I felt I was right there in the room. It's funny how little things like the soldiers can evoke so much emotion!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    this is so very beautiful. i want to wish you well in this contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


  • Ms.Daydream
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    What a sentimental Christmas poem! But they were brought to life by the simple lives of children...It's so sweet. =) Nice rhyming too. I'm a child myself, so I can warm up to it. =)
    Good luck in the contest! =D


  • Symphony
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    this brought tears to my eyes - i love poems like this, that have really simple storylines backing them but that are inspriational too, and could be the story of anyone's life

    -

    you brought this to life with the colourful descriptions, and the simple themes, that worked so well ; i just really, really enjoyed this - it's going straight to the finalists list for me, as i have no criticisms whatsoever ; what a moving poem!

    thank you for entering

  • theromantic
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    holy moly.....that was the most heart fillled emotional holiday slash like interweined with sorrow and a crazy ending poem ive ever read...it brought tears to my eyes, u havbe great empathy....id love for some lessons...from you


  • Lucypherr
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    This was extremely moving, very powerful.


  • AngeTombe
    January 18

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    wow

    this is an amazing poem.... so beautiful, and every bit of pride and sadness is in every single word....


  • Chuck Johnson silver member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry, but this is a gold poem. Only one small point in the only place you failed to rhyme. Otherwise, its a gold poem. Too bad so many others have failed to see its quality.


  • AutumnsFlame
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a nice little couplet poem! A very touching story too... It almost made me cry. Your rhyme was right on. Not forced at all! Thank you for entering my contest!


  • buggles
    January 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful write,but yours always are, may they long continue, Eddy


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    So touching and beautiful yet exceeding the 30 word prewritten limit... x


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your entry

    How very touching. This was beautiful. Such a loving tradition and the story behind it is heartbreaking and loving at the same time.

    God Bless and Merry Christmas
    Tammy


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For reasons far beyond the comprehension of words I could fathom, this has hit home to a part of me that stays focused on past memories. My Gran had a box similar to this, and every year it surfaced just once, was dusted off and placed proud of place among the presents...My papa's last present that he never got.

    This is a magical timepiece of a poem, and has so much in it, Thank you for including this one.


  • Swan song gold member
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely couplet poem that tells a wonderful story. well done I enjoyed


  • anaisnais
    December 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Heart breaking, you capture the spirit/essence of this poem well.

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