Looking [goodbye]

looking through the shotglass
amber liquid clear
with every drink id seem to think
that you were always here
cracking from the outside
from each frigid beat
screaming tears into then night
that break upon the street
ive never felt so empty
without your hand to hold
you promised me forever
growing up and growing old
unintentional lies they became
and words broken like glass
ripping holes between us
losing each other at last
i never meant to leave you
but ive been ready all along
its becuase i let you go
that i could be so strong
i sit alone to think about
the things ill miss so much
i can feel your wind upon my face
and its nothing like your touch
reality seems to go by slower
and im not ever once alone
even if you were here
id still be on my own
im trying to find you
between the distant clouds
so i can finally say goodbye
though it shouldnt be allowed