I Don't Know

He promised
he lied
I cried
life goes on
but I don't want it to
I want to hit pause
and wait for him
I tell myself its fine
and that it will get easier in time
but I don't really believe it
not even a little bit
I've got to do something though
I need to learn how to let go
but it's not happening
and i don't know why
why does he matter so much
why does my heart think he's so much different
when all he does is lie inconsistanly
I trust him with my whole heart
for no reason
he just keeps coming back and trampling it
I'm not even sure he knows he's doing it
but I really don't know what to think anymore
because one day he says he cares and proves it true
then he's gone for a while
and when he comes back he acts like nothing ever happened
but  he's also the only one that know the real me
and now I have to wonder if the him I know is the real one
now hes ignoring me
is this the end?
when do I say enough is enough
I think that time is now
but I just dont know how
Hes back again
sma old shit
different game different day
acting like he cares what I have to say
I can't figure out if he's sincere of if hes just screwing around
I just don't know what to do
yes or no yes or no
I don't even know teh questions anymore
let alone the answers
He leaves for so long
seeing him go just bout kills me
but it's when he comes back that hurts the most
he says he sorry
and for some reason I say its ok
but it's not really
it never is
but this time I don't think I can choke out that word
I don't think I can tell him it's fine
I think it's finally time
time to say goodbye
I've had enough
I'm done
but some small part of me doesn't want to end
I just so want to be there and be his best friend
I don't know anymore
what to say or what to think
He brings me up and knocks me down
but I don't want to see this thing what ever it is drown
I don't know the questions anymore
so how do i find answers