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I can't burn snow

 

 

            Snow flakes,
            embossed with words
            of love and hate,
            feel like razor blades,
            as they scatter and softly shear
            fine hairs on my skin,
            then hack through my flesh
            and kiss my soul.
            The pain of you,
            of loving you,
            never stops.

            My turbulent mind,
            an arduous anagram
            of devastating emotions,
            leaves me with no escape;
            I want to close my eyes at night,
            and not see you
            leaning on the door jamb
            to my dreams.

            If I could catch
            and burn each word of love,
            I would be left with
            a confetti of feigned hate,
            and then
            the pain of you,
            of losing you,
            would never stop.

            The truth of it is,
            I can’t burn snow.

 

 

 

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Sensual Sapphire
    December 8, 2007

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    It only melts leaving a puddle of heartbreak behind. The question is do you soak it up with a sponge and keep it or do you use a paper towel and throw it out.
    This pieces gives you a slow chill when you read it. Not the kind that causes goosebumps but the chill that freezes the heart and soul. Beautiful as frost patterns on a pane of glass.


  • grannyeri gold member
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a great title, and I liked the way you ended with that line too. Thought the simple presentation , blue and white, worked well for this poem too. Alliteration adds to the entry too. Sentiments well expressed throughout the poem.


  • hammy66
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    brilliant

    I love the imagery this produces in my mind .. the language is inspired .. keep it up


  • Strawberry Roan
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully written, strong and original imagery, particularily 'I want to close my eyes at night,
    and not see you
    leaning on the door jamb
    to my dreams.'

    just fantastic and thoughtful xxxx


  • tlsledge
    December 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good job of expressing your emotions.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    The truth of it is,
    I can’t burn snow.


    this indeed a heartfelt write revealing the depth of the heart..and the heart is once again in great distress..this distress which is the cause and reason for the story of the life and the truth of life and that is very unpredictable..and this has come here with your strong words..well done my friend....


  • Swordhigh
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    this is beautiful and sentimental


  • Seraph
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful, very simple, very emotional. The last two lines bring it to a perfect and heartwrenching close. Great job and good luck in the contest!


  • honorable mention
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmm. interesting concept. never thought u couldn't burn snow. i lived in va for 26 years and never bothered to try it. it'll melt but not burn. who knew? lol


  • karma-n-peace
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh what a romantic and heart breaking poem.
    I especially enjoyed the lines~
    If I could catch
    and burn each word of love,
    I would be left with
    a confetti of feigned hate,

    ECT...
    The entire poem is beautifully written and so very touching.

  • Bad Bill
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A strongly emotional piece which drags the reader right in through your use of short lines and apt word-choices. Very good work.

    Bill


    • sarajaneUK
      November 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Bill, your kind comment is much appreciated. Ty sj

  • michaeline
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Good luck on the contest.Yhis is a good poem.You show deep feeling for the person that is lost.You got what you wanted to out of the reader I think.Really good way of expressing how you feel.Like the poem.

    • sarajaneUK
      November 25, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment much appreciated. The reality for her is that her lover is not lost, as much as he causes her continual pain, theres no way she can ever stop loving him [she can't burn snow].

1 - 14 of 14