I was there
next to the door
which once closed behind Ann,
where she budded like a flower in the shadows
waiting for the random visit of birds
and butterflies.
Hiding,
waiting,
longing
writing,
dreaming,
leaving her hopes inside a diary
for a future generation to know,
watching the chestnut tree in the courtyard,
listening to the sadness of a screaming sky
tainted with the destiny of her own star.
I felt
her spirit there,
in the walls,
alive,
unbroken,
forever free,
forever fifteen.
Her gaze enchased in the shadow of that window’s frame
still watching the tree
and the sky.
Author notes
In memory of Anne Frank.
In a list
A contest entry
- Anne Frank's Window by CarolDesjarlais.
700 points, ended November 25, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HEROES AND HEROINES-poems needed for ecumenical event at Anglican venue. by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended October 22, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thank you for entering the "Heroes and Heroines" - competition. I am sorry we could not use it in our "HEROES - NOT ZEROES" live presentation, - but we did have to work to a very tight time-slot. For the presentation was part of a lunch-time service for working people - maximum time 40 minutes which had also to include a brief homily from the vicar and closing prayers.
This is a sincerely written piece and you have handled the sprung rhythm well. I would advise tou to be very wary of revising it - it has a great delicacy that, like a flower, could bruise easily with rough handling.
Having aaid that, I would suggest that you emend the spelling "Ann" to the more usual "Anne".
And I have to say that I am not sure about "screaming" sky. yes, during WWII, the skies did "scream" particularly with the sound of the Stukas - but I just wonder how much Anne would have heard. It seems to me that once the Nazis had occupied Holland, there was relatively little bombing or air-fighting overhead ... until mid-1944... by which time the Fanks had already been arrested and deported. But I may be wrong - after having to put all my books into store due to urgent refurbishment of my home, it is taking me a huge amount of time to get them all sorted and back on the shelves - and most of my WWII books are still in chaos.
But in general, this is a sincerer and well-crafted piece of writing... and has the delicacy appropriate to a young girl on the verge of womanhood.
Maybe though you just meant it as a metaphor... but the older I get, the more I like metaphors to have some factual basis!
But all in all, it is a fine and sincere piece of writing...
Once again, thank you.... -
This is excellent, very vivid descriptions - one can almost see Ann standing there. FYI "enchased" - should it not be "encased"?
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Thank you for your great comment and applauses, but no, this is not a mistake, enchased is a simple past tense and past participle of enchase. Maybe the word/verb adorned could be used too but I preferred this one.
~Sonja~ -
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It's a good poem ...
but I do not believe that there is a word in English spelled "enchase". My dictionary does not list it, and I don't find it on the web. What does it mean?
Other than that, however, I am quite impressed with your poem.
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Outstanding
I rated this poem very highly. You create a scene with a hint of sadness at the passing of time and some very pretty verse and outstanding natural images. I particularly liked the lines:
listening to the sadness of a screaming sky
tainted with the destiny of her own star.
This poem reminded me of my own child hood, I thought you created a fine sense of character, a snapshop into this girls life with a lot of poetry in your lines. A brilliant, original poem.
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I was there... I, too, felt the spirit of this child/woman who knew more than I could ever. ty for this beautiful compelling poem.
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This is excellent...your imagery brings me very much to her moments and through your poem, your moments as well, it a somewhat like a chain through readers of her experience.
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I can very much identify with this poem because I've been to Anne Frank's house in Amsterdam too and I remember it so vividly. There were many Jewish people on the same Contiki tour and I could feel their presence...and that of Anne Frank too. A beautiful poem that shows the depth of your compassion, my friend.... and of course allowed the reader a look through her eyes.
~ Nicolette
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