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Shadow Children

Shadows cast over as I see the pain
Hidden from view I am appalled to see
Any deprived sweet child of love, remain
Drowning in the shadows lost in the sea
Of all the darkness of the human ear.
World, drowning in a sea will disavow
Children lost of apathy, can’t you hear,
Hear my silent screams, begging for you now?
I want to take away the pain and the hurt.
Listen to me and see what you have done.
Dark are places hidden beneath the skirt
Rendered as a spoil that we all should shun
Empty is the cold heart of tolerance
Now is the time to render assistance.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Acrostic Sonnet with an internal Etheree

The Etheree is meant to be the small voice of a child.


Dedicated to the thousands of abused and forgotten children in orphanages in Serbia and throughout the world; my hope is that this verse will open some eyes.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 99 of 126     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 1

    Edit | Reply

    Amera,

    This is an amazing work of art. I love how you did this. Very hard to do , and i would never attempt to even try.
    You are no doubt the best poet on AP hands down.

    Joe


  • Mango Memories gold member
    November 1
    Edit | Reply
    !!!1


  • malmadre gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    It's a work of art. I can imagine the time and thought that went into this, it's a well deserved gold and spotlight. A heartrending plea from a child within, so appealing.

  • n.e.o.n
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is an incredible piece. I loved this so much. I can sadly relate. It saddens me to see abuse go over-looked. A shame really. Many close their eyes and their mind. Bravo on this.

  • poets whisper silver member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    congrats on the gold. It is well deserved. I love the write and the style is outstanding. The red text really brings everything to life.

  • LovingPhoenix
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely FANTASTIC! Such a touching write, and so very....poetic! I am in awe! Marvelous piece! Congratulations on the Gold and the Spotlight! Very deserving!


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh. This is such a marvelous, beautiful write and you are really very talented to be able to write in so many different forms together. This is brilliant and touching. Thanks for sharing your amazing talent on AP, keep the ink flowing.


  • Not-The-Sun
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    woww >.<

    "Children lost of apathy, can’t you hear,
    Hear my silent screams, begging for you now?"

    incredibly powerful message; this my first time reading an acrostic with an etheree inside of it; the message in red is beautifully dictated!

  • firefly star
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    wow. loved why you wrote this. That's inspiring. and the fact that it's an Acrostic and a sonit. this was a privilage to read and i think it will definitley open peoples eyes. keep writing poet!


  • Ellegirl silver member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it! Seeing the message in red and then reading back over the poem and
    seeing the other colors was like looking at the ripple effect of water.
    The messages kepted drifting in.
    Wonderful job.


  • zee91190
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    To write a poem in order to vent out your feelings and frustration, your hurts or desires, your sorrow or happiness, it's something anyone can do. But to write from another's perspective to tell another person's tale, its really great.
    I will not pretend to understand the feat you have taken up by combining three different forms of poetry into one. I read the below comments and have gathered as much to realize that it is not an easy task. But what made me love your poem and respect you as a poet is the mere words you have chosen to speak of the pain of those unfortunate children who have to go through so much and they cannot be heard. They dont have the gift of writing as we do. So to speak for them is greatness in itself.
    "Empty is the cold heart of tolerance
    Now is the time to render assistance." these parting lines really brought tears to my eyes. Well done on such a brilliant poem.

    All the best on Ap. God bless you


  • Dark Otter
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    couldn't resist!

    I saw this and thought, I have done a combined sonnet and acrostic before, but I have never done three forms such as this and still voice a message. Hats off to you for showing the power of poetry, once again.


  • melphleg gold member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    WOW. One of your best, Amera. I'm impressed. It tugs at my heart since I know children who have been abused. All children are very dear to my heart.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    i can help but find this as something amazing, i can't tell how i missed this one, but i do love it, creative and amazing, i mean really keep it flowing and congrads on the golden.


  • Zeros Nightmare
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    I am honestly speechless... for once!!!


  • John Faulkner gold member
    October 30

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    So kind you are..Bless you..no more words to say..I am in tears

    John


  • WaterChild Reborn silver member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    Three different forms skillfully joined into one meaningful message...

    I'm sure I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said, but I will reiterate:
    This was astounding!


  • EmoAngel14
    September 29
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing...i love the hidden msg....(:


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    Such a beautiful write! I love the hidden message and my heart cries out with you! The church I belong to does financially support many of these organisations. In a way it is good to know that we are making a difference but it still feels like one is not doing enough.

    Love your work
    Becks

  • Topnotchsy
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful write that addresses a really sad reality. A stunning display of poetic ability and an easy choice for a gold trophy!!


  • C.I.M.A Punk
    July 10

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    I am amazed that you can intertwine these poetic forms in a thing of beauty.
    But then again, I'm not because you're wonderful wordsmith.

    About the poem, the harsh message is put in beautiful words.

    In short, this is a most excellent write!

  • Forever Hated
    June 10
    Edit | Reply

    SICK!!

    This is very well done! LOVE IT!

  • trekkergirls bank
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    excellent how you used two forms. I have trouble with just the one form. Great write that makes perfect sense. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • GotLilt
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very very nice.


  • Titus gold member
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    I cannot see shadow children in my list of favourites.

  • laiqua aran
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    Even in your output this stands out for poetry and inventiveness, all round amazing work



    Laiqua


  • LeilaJayne
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW everything about this is amazing. I love how the bit in red reads as something else, this is so good!!!! Best of luck to you in the contest! x


  • Luna Argintie
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Extraordinary! Amazing!

    I've never read such a complex poem You've done a very nice job with this poem! If anyone could ever succede later with poetry and become well known, well, it would be you!

    I am honored to have your entry in my contest!

    Liana


  • CherylAnn
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations On Gold

    A write worthy of Gold indeed as you have shown a great talent...I am amazed at the effect you have caused within your pen...This is absolutely amazing and so sad and heartfelt that it really pulled at my heart strings...Such true talent hun...
    Blessings
    ~~Cheryl~~


  • crimsondew
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful dear...love how you have interwoven the forms....Very creative...
    Congrats on gold!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is hard to know what to say. Beautiful with a very pretty internal poem. Not what I had in mind for the contest, not exactly two separate intertwined poems, but it is my contest and I can bend the rules if I want. So you get the dirty yellow cup.


  • princess hope
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    This is wonderful, Talented and artistic.
    Perfect words, and perfect lines . Good luck in the contest


  • Starhiker
    December 14, 2007

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    Oh... my... god!

    An acrostic, a sonnet, and an etheree, all in one poem. I fall humbly on my knees for such a masterpiece of a poem! Lovely poems, both the sonnet and the etheree. I know I kind of asked for a challenge, but I fear that this would be too much, my muse will go crazy. My muse is already coiling at the thought of this challenge. I will try however, but I am not sure when. You get one applause for each form, therefore three applauses from me! Jim


    • Amera gold member
      December 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      wow! Thank you for the glowing comment. Be sure to send me the link when you write it.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wowzer!!

    Wow fab poems! I have never seen a write like this before, but then I am fairly new to this. You have done a wonderful job, best of luck with it


  • twentysecond
    December 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic its such a rich poem, the structure is great with the two poems in one and the subtle rhyme scheme. The language is also really engaging, a really moving and profound poem!


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Shadows cast over as I see the pain
    Hidden from view I am appalled to see
    Any deprived sweet child of love, remain
    Drowning in the shadows lost in the sea
    Of all the darkness of the human ear."

    I really like that first part. I love how beautifully you twisted all the word and images together. You really have commandeered my presence and made me listen to your story. Wonderful work miss Amera!


  • Raida Boy94
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Man this is kinda bone chilling my favorite part though was Children lost of apathy, can’t you hear,
    Hear my silent screams, begging for you now?
    I want to take away the pain and the hurt.
    Listen to me and see what you have done.


  • toysoldier28
    December 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome. I could never do this.


  • myrataal silver member
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Please add my voice to that of all abused children ...

    for our family suffered immensely by the hand of an abuser, who was a family friend. I cry to God often but do not ask WHY -- for HE will rectify the wrongs did to all seven of the Lochner family, on several levels. We lost our family unity, we lost our home, our safety, our security and our peaceful living. But: I know the abuser will suffer far greater should he not repent.

    I also know that forgiveness is not of us, for we are incapable to forgive -- it is an ACT of God HIMSELF INSIDE us. And we should accept his Mercy and give it through.

    I mourn today the immense suffering of the deceased father of my children, I mourn once again my precious child and his agony, and my other children who suffered in their own ways by the hand of evil; I also mourn all children of this world tainted by abuse in any form.

    I can but cry out and say: Thank you, Lord for poems like these, thank you, oh Father, for our safe and eternal Home.

    Be well, Amera, and God bless you and keep you.

    Love
    Myra


  • TallStory
    December 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I just responding so i can get on the front page.
    this is good


  • Ithica silver member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite amazing! I have serious doubts that I could ever pull anything like this off. EVER! Definately top drawer. WOW! IT'S BRILLIANT!


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was amazing & brilliant!!! i'm speechless really.
    xo
    Kandy


  • Tarja
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ... I'm left in awe! How the hell do you do it!? I have never seen a poem like this before in my life. You are truly gifted and I can see why this is so popular right now! Of course I'm a sucker for sonnets... But this... just takes the cake! Amazing. And if you don't get a trophy... well.. that's ridiculous!!
    Not that you need it but good luck!

    • Amera gold member
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Tarja, I wrote the Etheree then the acrostic then filled in the blanks. The trick was remembering that what the child said had to melt into the narration.


  • Erin200
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is really pretty. I like the flow of it and the background. Good job and I really hope you keep writing!

    ~Erin


  • sunny day
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!

    You just brought me from laughter to tears after reading your last poem and now this one. The form's mistress has struck a mighty blow with her pen in this one. I was left breathless by your words as the tears streamed down my face. The message you sent forth here is so important and the piece itself is brilliant with the combination of three forms together in one write. You never cease to AMAZE me with everything you pen. My jaw is still on my lap and I best breathe before I suffocate. Thank you for sharing this one with all of us. God, this is magnificent. Best wishes in the contest, though again I don't think you will need them. Golden is this piece of artwork. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • Abby Apathy. silver member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    what a wonderful form you have here!

    i have never seen anything quite like it. but perhaps that is just my young years speaking

    i love this. it is sad in a way, and very beautiful. your flow is something to be praised as well.

    well done.

    Abby


  • micol
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Tour-de-force...and very Renaissance, with poetic 'code' embedded in poetic 'code' embedded in lines that on the surface mean only what they say horizontally. George Herbert is someone you should look at--he, like you, explored how many ways a single set of words could be crafted to allow simultaneous meanings to emerge.

    This took a great deal of work...and has been justly rewarded with its praise.


    • Amera gold member
      November 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much: I will check out George Herbert. Thanks again.

  • Korarnithlas
    November 27, 2007

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    o_O Pretty bloody cool

    I've written two-in-one poems before, but never thought about do so that way. That's pretty demn awesome.

    I'm not so sure the last line works with the rest of the poem. At the same time, I feel silly because I don't know exactly -how-. Just strikes me as odd, that last line.


    • Amera gold member
      November 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much. The last line was an attempt to get people to think about doing something about it.


  • baconlicious112
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i kno u dont me, but WOW!
    this poem is absolutely amazing! ive never seen that style before. its very cool.


  • VoltaicHypnosis
    November 27, 2007

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    THis is the most poetic poem I've come accross. Not in... words, so much, as forms. Words too though. A touching, painful topic, this is brilliant

  • mcheadle
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very cleaver, and a good way to get your message out

    If others could understand the pain so many have lived and those who have lived thid way, instead of the shame heop so that others don;t need to step into your shoes


  • Sarana
    November 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    amazing.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutly Awesome.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    G'Day Amera ♥

    David told me I had to read one of the most amazing poems ever written on AP and directed me straight here and WWWWWWWWWWWWWOW !!

    I want to cry so hard reading this. The use of different styles helps bring this to a volume that is needed for this kind of topic.

    I am speechless and in awe of this write!

    I bow down to you !
    Best of luck in the contest
    Stay safe
    ~AJ


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Niece, you really know how to make a grown man shed a tear. Not only for bringing home a stark reminder and vivid memories, but for making a fine damn good job doing it.

    Too many children behind closed doors that can't be heard, worldwide weeping, worldwide ignorance.

    But with the help of organisations like
    http://www.milagrofoundation.org/news.asp
    or
    Los Angeles' Violence Intervention Program, http://www.violenceinterventionprogram.org/vip/
    which rescues child victims of abuse and neglect.

    We can make more aware, and wake up to listen and see.

    Fantastic piece in form and content. Cant say a thing wrong. well done


  • soulfultia gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Such a talent and a unique writing style! I believe I saw a tribute piece written by Desire for you. Excellent work, fabulous write! Loved it! ~Tia


  • HaleyMary
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very powerful write. Written with such compassion and I love the title of this. It seemed metaphorical, like the pain being hidden from the world, not that people can't see it, but maybe some may not wish to acknowledge it, which is very sad. Good luck in the contest.


  • raggyann
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is fantastic such compassion


  • memnoch
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    well this is honestly one of the poems out here that Really touched my heart. this was so well written, so full of emotion, so vivid.
    very nicely done, i do hope many get to understand what it's about, maybe even help!


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a powerful piece my dear I love it and your voice.
    your awesome. Thanks for sharing and speaking out.

    Love you
    Tory


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW...

    This is such a powerful piece! I am blown away and left speechless... Best of luck in this contest!! "Shadow Children" is a first rate winner!!!


  • poettrical
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Smart and sad and moving - all I can say is Amen


  • jo-el
    November 25, 2007

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    another textbook example for anyone who wants instruction for writing an acrostic. to sweeten the deal you've got an internal gem thrown in there...a real nice extra...like findin 3 different kinds of custard in a boston cream. the rhyme and rhythm doesn't suffer at all and is infact without flaw. here's some more applause added to the throng. excellent


  • Astral Lady
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an absolutely incredible write. I paticularly like the internal etheree, it has a wonderful flow and speaks so powerfully for lost children. The main body seems to have been written around this and seems to lack the same power. I really admire your incorporation of three poetic styles into one write - well done

    Thank you for sharing this with us and for the gift of your pen.
    Love,
    Moira.


  • Dalaney gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you are the shining star...
    i got tears in my eyes reading the
    internal Etheree...how you can create
    such beautiful work time and again is
    something only magic can answer...

    Love, Lane


  • ravensgift
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a brilliant poem with a powerful message. Very nicely done.


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    so compassionate and so loving, who needs love more then the children. it is where we begin because love grows from love. a true masterpiece

  • mmook
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i feel the passion.. the powerful message.. and by the way it tug at heart thanks for sharing


  • Swordhigh
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this shows true passion.Wonderful job!!!


  • Grateful
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a very powerful message in your poem. it is just another beautiful piece of your poetic expression. it is so sad. your poem certianly touched the essence of a problem.
    all the best - sukhdarshan


  • yogi59
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write.Children are like God and no child is an orphan.We should render a helping hand to those deprived children.Atleast a small prayer!!


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...Fantastic! My dear you leave me speechless...
    A very beautiful write Amera...Bravo
    Peace and many blessings
    ~A~


  • lilAj
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, now this is something else! I really haven't been awed like this for a while.
    ~aj~


  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    Amera,
    I always admire your work
    Typically I leave long detail comments.
    The only thing I can say is you have put forth your very best here.
    This is a Masterpiece!
    A Briliant [Work of Art] from all aspects from forms to the deep important meaning potrayed by your words.
    Many blessings,
    Much love,

    ~David~

  • Mercury Rising
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Exceptional

    A really terrific piece of poetry you have cleverly crafted with this poignant Acrostic English Sonnet with the added twist of the Internal Etheree. You really must have blown a few fuses trying to weave this wonderful tapestry together. Best of luck in the contest.

    D.M.


  • Valerianroot
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I too get tired of the same silent cries from forgotten corners. Nice Form. Good Venting


  • Pandorea
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. technically astounding! and so sad. amzing, really good.


  • dcpoetmusician
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A poem within a poem of a lost child, more than worthy of someone's love.


  • meltingfish
    November 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    This poem is amazing, beautiful.


  • jcat gold member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!! You sure do deliver a powerful punch through your poetry!!! This was just so awe inspiring!! I have never seen this format before so I am most impressed by it and the fact that I have learned something new.... You really do an amazing job writing poetry!! Best of luck in the contest!!!


  • Faeryn
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ooh, a poem within a poem! brilliant! though such a sad topic; this definitely opened my eyes. Is the rhyme scheme supposed to be abab? or did you jsut add it in? I like it; flows really well. Like the contrast of colors too. your such an awesome poet, Amera. I just love reading your work.
    -Tay-


    • Amera gold member
      November 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Tay yes it's an English sonnet :
      abab cdcd efef gg


  • vivela silver member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very moving

    your poem elegantly tells a very sad story. Yoru words are beautifully chosen. Ands you make your case. Well done!! Warm Regards..vivela


  • Jesusdancer
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is so amazing. all of it, from how it works acrostically and the red letters are a poem within the poem... the haunting message...brava!


  • Dont You Just Wish
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very clever. A lot of work in this one. Even if I don't really like the results as they are a little vapid and pompous, I have to say this is very clever indeed. And therefore 3 applauses.


  • candyinchelsea
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    i love it!!

    as always you amaze me,
    i understand this poem.it toched my heart
    you are such a very special lady.
    good luck in the contest.
    candy


  • karma-n-peace
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome write!
    You have done a wonderful job here with this and it was a pleasure to read!
    Thanks for sharing it, it truly is a great piece.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh Me Lovely Cubbie, Amera. You know, as everyone knows you do fabulous work and marvelous poems, but you know what I find the most enchanting about you? Your love of little ones and the love for all in your heart, as it is simply overwhelming. Most so, like a rainbows kiss to the blind.

    love

    Dad


  • freebutsafe
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I was commenting on this poem, when my computer shut me out...Now my point is obscured..lol
    Okay...nice and neat, a loving poem, but lacks strength? I feel this could be heard with capital letters in some parts...to escalate the feelings. If we are going to speak...we need them to LISTEN! Well done on this ACROSTIC...(Ive just come to my senses...) I wish you luck in this contest!


  • Broken Faith
    November 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Good God

    Amazing. Simply brilliant! I absolutely loved it.


  • anaisnais
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Amera, you never disappoint with your work and this is no exception. A fantastiv write not distracting from the meaning if your words. A time for us to stand shoulder to shoulder! Thankyou for standing in unity with us...


  • Poesing
    November 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    EXCELLENT

    So many voices, so little time. Loved the way you worked this poem - 3 in one - awesome!


  • grannyeri gold member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You never seem to do anything easy like; can just imagine the effort that went into this two form entry to get it just right. Very impressive.


  • everyone1 gold member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I am astounded!

    I thought of writing one like this once and started to try, but it all got lost in the translation... Wow! Simply beautiful! and saddening all at the same time! You are quite brilliant!

    ~ James ~

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