I had forgotten how laughing
started at the crinkle-up of toes,
filled bones and sinew to curl
with joy, sputtering
through lips long bent in almost bitterness
and tears ran like children
in flailing freedom. Our canoe upended us,
and I saved my coffee cup
like trophy until you held
your hand on my heart and we wept
our fatal goodbye. Laughter dove
to drown itself.
Author notes
Prompt: ""We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh."
In a list
A contest entry
- Saturday Morning Coffee Break Quickie 10/AT LEAST 10L/30m by poet2angels.
475 points, ended November 24, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wonderful
An exquisite write that deserves reward.
Allow me to nit pick:
I wonder how it would read if you enjammed the last line at 'dove'?
Just a thought.
Nice job,
Jim -
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yes, yes, I like it...ty ty
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ah, that gives thought, indeed.... it is always good to see real brainstorm occur from a comment such as yours... ty very much for picking up on that... surely would add impact.
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I am amazed at the raw emotion and painful imagery here, and the sadness pervading the laughter... congratulations on bronze!
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Love your images scribe...forever burns my soul in ancient laughter...I feel so close to remembering heaven...lovely
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oh yes...I have not laughed such since.... it is now a sad laugh..one that simply rolls off my tongue instead of my heart.
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WOW
This is a poem that has all of the emotions of a best selling novel...It can make you laugh and cry in a few lines...Amazing you are!!!!
Lynda
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ty, my friend, for the bronze.... laughter is heaven connected, I think...somany kidns..but the best kidn are when you and a sweetheart can laugh together.
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