I watch it happen with no warning, late
Friday afternoon
Gypsy fiddles in the key of D
the air humming - night filled with sparks,
dancing spaces occupied by [sweating] bodies
and the sickly-sweet smell of lilacs
Rubble, and dust in the street
filling eyes and throats
every pane of glass broken -
the wedding-cake building falls one [layer] at a time
like a child’s white blocks, surreal as a Picasso painting
Storm clouds gather, waiting for endings
washing flaps high overhead – a broken clothesline
clothespins line up like soldiers;
a pile of stuffed bears
They were fascinated by toy snakes,
the day I fell in love with Teacher
If I close my eyes and breathe slowly
will I return?
Or dream some other dream...
Dust and Lilacs
©crisstiena
A contest entry
- Pick a prompt, Use it as a Title and write by Cannonsfire.
550 points, ended November 25, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Pretty,
like especially
"They were fascinated by toy snakes,
the day I fell in love with Teacher"
Not so gone on the ending, it's good, just not as strong as the rest of the poem. Good work though, very vivid.
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This as some good metaphorical writing in it, it is over my line limit, perhaps you could rejig if you see fit?
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I count exactly 20 lines... I made it 20 lines from the start.
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