Dark light peeks through the cracks of her soul,
With each dim ray, the beast gains control.
A nightmare she’s living, despite her charade,
Too scared to admit that she’s really afraid.
Her hunger is lustful, a sin it’s so good,
Unable to deny that which she should.
Like a demon of darkness, flesh is her taste,
And the woman she was is long since erased.
There aren’t enough men to fill her delight,
She tries to ignore what she knows is right.
Nothing is taboo if it’s done with a stranger,
And it only feels better if it’s wrapped up in danger.
Reckless abandon in the name of desire,
Hoping for someone to put out this fire.
With a husband at home with no kind of clue,
Thinking he has a wife that will always be true.
But her body, it answers to its own set of rules,
And all who have loved her have gone down as fools.
She tries and she tries, but a touch can’t deny,
He owns her in a moment, she’s ready to fly.
Legs wrapped around him and a tear in her eye,
Wishing she were different, but no bother to try.
The beast came to feed and she’s hungry as hell,
And she’s happy to see he was starving as well.
He took her, consumed her, made her his own,
For twelve minutes she loved him and he was her home.
Vicious truth eats her heart, but she’ll choose to ignore,
For no matter how much, she will always need more.
So the monster retreats after it devours her prey,
And she goes home to hubby, she’s done for the day.
Author notes
option 2 Addiction / Obsession
A contest entry
- Tell Me About Her (Pic Insp) by IfTomorrowNeverCame.
800 points, ended December 19, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Good by Dorcha Runda.
450 points, ended December 15, 2007, 44 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for Cheaters by BigE.
450 points, ended May 15, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Wonderful write....it definitely takes two to tango as they say
love the pic that accompanies this, think your words flow effortlessly and love the rhyme...
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definately speaks to the age doesn't it. A beautifully penned, and well written prose, that strikes a chord with a lot of people I am sure, you have definate talent, poet... write on!
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Holy crap Jam!!!
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This one hit home! I could relate to the betrayal part of this so well! The lies and loss of trust! Very impactful!
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Ha', is this your alto-ego? I enjoyed, very descriptive and narrative. Sol
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Very touching! Ha ha ha. Literally and figuratively! Yes, here is the "safe" way to experinence all the dangerous people and their lustful ways. Ha ha ha. This would be a sign of cumpulsive behavior and an indication of deep seated issues that need resolution. I better stop now before I get myself in trouble.
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Ah....
The beast within. And to have in side a beautiful young woman. Very nice twist. Everyone would expect this in a man, but a young woman? Very clever indeed. I do love a good rhyming story poem. You are talented indeed. I am glad I came here for a visit. I plan on making more as time allows.
~Ron~
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An interesting spin, not what I'd expected.
a beast of a story, with a sensual dark hurt
of futile resistence, dragged through the dirt
but a great write, one that you prefected...
rudolf
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Good God...
well firstly, let me just say that this is a truly excellent write - a masterpiece - I need to say that first, because I know that any other words won't do it justice. Secondly, I have to say that this was a very fluid piece... due to the brilliant rhyme scheme, structure of language and two-line stanzas, the poem flowed like a river and I was engrossed from beginning to end.
Through use of very stark, vivid imagery and a remarkable unveiling of emotion, you have conveyed exactly what it must be like for the subject of the poem... how she must feel. Personally, I've never done this, but we all have our thoughts and I can only imagine. I love the metaphor by the way... also the mixture of "she" and "it" when describing the monster, it reminds the reader of the two sides that these people often express; the safe, home-loving family person and then... the person who was always looking for just that little bit more.
A very effective piece with a lot of impact.
Keep up the great work!
God bless,
ELW x
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Oh my goodness
This was hot and so dangerous indeed she had no concience for the one who loved her so sad indeed
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I really admire your poetry.... looks like you really take the times to perfect what goes into your work... beautiful poem
Adriana
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A very well written piece. A tale of deception amongst assumed devotion. Great rhyme and flow throughout. The choices that await in the balance, crumbling the 'love' that once was allowed to exist without betrayal. Nice penning!
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wow
This was awsomw
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hahahaha.....
Well, well young lady. Something is definitly flowing with this poem I can tell yah that! Hahahaha...
Oh yeah and verrrry excellent writing ta'boot!
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This has the beast of freely influential wants, adamant for the hell of it situations. Much here is independant of what is going on elsewhere, forever yearning the excitement, in spite of the obvious peace around. The inner glow in this is exceptional, in that it professes a passion that although it may not look obvious, is waiitng to erupt, and for that, almighty applauses adorn you.
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WOW
Too hot to handle,need a cold shower after reading this
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Very Nicely done.
I can see you winning a lot more trophy's with this poem.
All the best,
~T.S~
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Powerful write, warmest congratulations on the silver. Sending warmest wishes for the season, Lib x x
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I guess I've never known any TRUE sex addcits but it seem by your words thatr it's every bit as consuming as any other addiction... Sad in a way that sex can kill ya too, just from reckless abandon...
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Flow?
People on this site keep talking about "flow." What is it? Why is it a good thing? As far as I know, "flow" is not a literary term. What does it mean? Thank you very much. -
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AlfVenison ????
What is your deal? Seriously? Flow....I am certain you can google the term or try Wikpitia. This site has no rules on using "literary" terms. All of your comments to everyone are so snooty and really just stupid...... To the point of cracking me up though....dont get me wrong, I do so enjoy.
Thank YOU very much!
and good luck with that term.
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Thank you for entering my contest! This poem is soooooo incredible. The flow and rhyme worked flawlessly together. I really can feel her obsession with sex, which is a topic that isn't normally addressed for women so i am happy that you ventured into the untouched. I love that you separate her obsession from her mind, it really emphasizes how overbearing addictions can be. Good Luck!
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Huh?
You lost me after the first couplet. I recommend that you read the poems of H.D. (Hilda Doolittle), especially her early imagist work. You might also check out Michael Alexander's Earliest English Poems. Good luck. -
I just love these lines so much.
"He took her, consumed her, made her his own,
For twelve minutes she loved him and he was her home."
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a kind of rising passion here as she submits to her inner demon, the true seduction is within her thoughts and the men are just incidentals... so very interesting...simmering rebellion...so very well done...PK
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Very good read, Kinds of withers at end, but very Good. Love ryming poems. Very classic sounding
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Your penchant for eroticism leads me to think that it dwells within your soul. If you haven't published before search the web for Canadian poetry magazines, find a suitable publication and make a few submissions. It could provide you with a wider audience
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Excellent Writing
God, what an imagination -- and such talent writing.
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Yes, she is......Kudos to ya.....
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A vivid description of the sexual beast that dwells within us all. I've known that woman in an earlier life.
Another fine piece of work thanks for the read. -
~Poetical Criticism:
'Nothing is taboo if it’s done with a stranger,': Too many syllables. Perhaps change to 'Nothing's' instead?
~Overall:
Original. Ryhming was aliright too.
Good luck,
Lysander
<3
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ooo i love it! LOVE IT! just amazing! question though....what kind of a beast is she? is she addicted to sex with different men or what? lol i love it! great write! thanks for your entry and good luck!
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Love and temptation are not unusual friends.
But mostly they are bitter enemies.
Perfect rhyming, strong selection of words, good sentence construction.
Well written.
Good luck
Allura -
Another fantastic piece by you!!! I think this old version of me was what broke up my marriage. I got married to the nicest guy right after I threw the ass out, never made time to heal all the hurt and this inner beast just came out!!! I know her all to well I am sorry to say!!! Lucky for me though through all of it I met another fabulous man..my own prince charming, who forced me to love myself and see just exactly what I was... a wonderful person in need of love and a hard life lesson!!! Good luck in the contest!!!!
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I'm always very glad to see
A rhyming poet on AP
And this poem looks good to me
Pleased to meet you rhymer
Tomorrow I shall read some more
Of the poems in your store
I hope they thrill me to the core
I am pleased to meet you, rhymer
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Not exactly filthy is it? Dud rhyming too.
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the rhythm work perrrrrfetc in here and the style is very intriguing,leaving the reader in wonder as the poem manages to explore the picture in a mistiful manner!
loved it truly!bravo!good luck in the contests!
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Holy Heck Batman, this is good!!
Wow, you hit your stride with this one. If this is an example of your first work on a new style, I must read what you are accustom to. Your imagery is very sharp. I like the reference to the dark light of the photo as coming through her cracks, very cool. However in the line, "He owns her in a moment,she's ready to fly." is there a missing "and,or then" there. It was not clear to me. I'll be checking you out.
Much Love
Dark
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FANTASTIC WRITE
This is soooo very good. Actually, it's better than, good, it's excellent. Actually, it's better than excellent, it's ... you get the picture.
Just too damn good for words to describe. Great write.
Good luck in the contest.
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I think that if Juli Balla ever read this takes on her photograph, she'd have a fit! But I'm not Balla and I love this, I think it's definitly out of the box and just a overall brilliant take. The rhyming is great and it dragged me in throughout it all. Thank you for the entry.
♥
Bandaid.
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