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A Midnight Inquiry

I love thee,
Yet I see that isn't enough.
I know not,

What thou desires that I be unable to give,

I but wish I knew.

Night after weary night,
I pour my soul out to the winds
Hoping 'twould carry my words to thy ear.

I know this be folly.

Yet still I cry out this midnight inquiry.

 

Are these lips ever to know thy taste?

Should my heart never feel thy embrace?

 

Doth my heart deceive mine eyes,

Into seeing a love that is not?

 

Couldst thou ever love me?

Else are we fated to be friends,

And that alone?

 

If my eyes could see thy heart,

If I could but think,

Beyond the aching in my breast,

Perhaps my questions, might,

 

Be answered.

Author notes

i tried to work a little bit more of the old english into this but im not sure i did it correctly if you have any suggestions please let me know

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Ender Tyberius
    December 12, 2007

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    Wonderful!

    What a beautiful piece of work you have here.

    "Yet still I cry out this midnight inquiry"

    I love this line, and I love that it stands alone.
    It a very nice poem, the flow is wonderful and the emotion portrayed is done very well. Thank you for sharing this.


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    December 4, 2007

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    9pts...

    Thank you for contributing this piece to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the HM

    ~Lilac


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    December 1, 2007

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    Your poem was beautiful and i think you should have gotten better than an honorable mention. I can relate to this poem.


  • angel-lover
    December 1, 2007
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    oh this gave me tears i so relate to this excellent


  • Polaja Greeters member
    December 1, 2007

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    The title of this poem just drew me in... I don't know much about olde english... but to a general reader it sounds good ... I liked the formatting of this poem... it flows well and looks good!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • HeavenScent4U
    November 30, 2007

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    This is full of sadness and longing but done very nicely. Good luck in all your contests. Be well and be blessed


  • kaitlyn-love
    November 28, 2007
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    I like this, The old Engilsh in it is a nice touch, I've never realy been able to write much like that, I just don't have the patience to look everything up and make sure I'm using the words correctly. But like I said, you did a very nice job =]

    Kaitlyn


  • Rita Krocha
    November 28, 2007

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    Wow! That was nice~ an excellent piece of work!
    Wish I can write something like it too
    But well, seriously I love what you have written here~
    It's so well done and I should tell you, it's nice to read such a fine poem!


  • ronnica
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is a very realistic try, not many can do this really well and as practice makes perfect you did a good job all 'round and with the emotion too.
    My fav for today
    Apparently is a word I would not use here though


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    November 28, 2007

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    i must congrats you on the olde english there,
    i know it intently, and you did a splended job here,
    it rhymed with an olde english flow to hit,
    it painted the sorrowful picture clearly in your head,
    great work love Elektra xxx
    and Congratulations on the HM


  • ZachP silver member
    November 28, 2007

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    Wow... the first stanza just pulled me in and kept me there. Nicely done! This really made me think. I'm no expert on old english, so I can't help you there

    good luck, and all the best,
    congrats on the HM


  • grannyeri gold member
    November 27, 2007

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    Yes, that Old English flavor comes through these lines, and works well in this poem. Hope one does not lose too much sleep over trying to gt an answer to this midnight inquiry.


  • freespirit51
    November 27, 2007

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    You did a fantastic job on this my fellow poet. I don't know much about the old english but it sounded pretty good to me. Good luck in the contest.

  • piccola silver member
    November 27, 2007

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    I really like the title. As I was reading, I thought how very fitting it was. I have a hard time with titles so it's something I notice. Good job.


  • warrior-eagle
    November 27, 2007

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    and I'll say it again
    this was amazing,
    this poem was just too great,
    too fantastic.
    and i loved it a lot.

    ..Simply Me♥


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    November 27, 2007

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    The last five lines were the most powerful for me. Such depth of emotion has been expressed within this piece! My only thought for future improvement is that the thees and the like would be better used either throughout the whole poem or not at all, rather than in just one section. This is a poignant piece, though. Thanks for sharing!


  • ShelleyA gold member
    November 27, 2007

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    A good write. Heartfelt. Good flow and tone. Lovely depth of feeling of pain and sadness. Nice alliteration. Thanks for sharing.


  • xorandomxo
    November 25, 2007
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    very very nice

    good luck in the contest

  • White Raven 17
    November 23, 2007
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    Excellent!

    This one really speaks to me. Great write!


  • GhettoBarbiemitbaby
    November 23, 2007

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    not bad at all. It was heartfelt. And alot of people experience this type of emotion...longing for someone you may never have. Good luck in the contest.

  • warrior-eagle
    November 23, 2007
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    Wow.
    I am left speechless.

    ...Simply Me♥


  • Makinbettachoices
    November 23, 2007

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    This is incredible! Your choice of words and your pure emotions fit together perfectly and flow very well. This truly is an impressive piece. I think you'll do well in the contest, but I wish you luck anyway! Awesome job!!! x from the ashes x

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