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My Greatest Pleasure - Kyrielle

 

 

Each new day I look for the sun,

He is my light, when day is done.

This heart beats in countless measure,

Time with him my greatest pleasure.

 

On soft lips I shall lay my kiss,

For your tender touch I will miss.

Leaving now my one displeasure,

Time with him my greatest pleasure.

 

Till your return there’ll be no light,

And I long for only the night.

Our love, my only treasure.

Time with him my greatest treasure.

 

 

 

Author notes

For my Inspiration - My Hetane

Amera have a very happy Birthday, My it bring you many pleasures to treasure.

This is my own background, Give credit if you snag.

Kyrielle form, rhyme scheme aabB ccbB ddbB
And has an eight syllable line count.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Such a beautiful piece of poetry!
    I love everything about this!
    Thank you so much for sharing and for being part of the contest!


  • Amera gold member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The poem and the background is wonderful. You have hooked me on your poetry. Beautiful!

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • freespirit51
      December 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Amera

      tyanks so much for your kind words. I am so glad you enjoyed the poem I wrote for your birthday contest. You have to thank my HETANE Black Crow for my inspiration on this piece. Happy birthday my friend.


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Winked!

    This poem is lovely to read, great use of metaphor by personifying the sun, this brought all sorts of immages to my thoughts...the only thing that I found confusing is the way your lines flit back and forth between 3rd and 1st person, but apart from that, I found this to be an interesting and beautiful poem

    You have just been Hood-Winked by a bandit
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    All the best...~Lilac


    • freespirit51
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      -LilacThOughts-

      Thanks for your wonderful comment. I am glad you enjoyed this piece. I enjoyed wirting it as well.


  • LittleAnn
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    HOOD-WINKED !!

    Oh, what a beautiful poem!
    I love the line you chose to repeat, it is just so tender and loving.
    This really made me smile!

    Thanks for sharing!
    Keep up the wonderful work!
    Annie


    • freespirit51
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Anna Parva

      Thanks so much for your wonderful words. I am glad you enjoyed this poem. It holds very spaecial meaning for me.


  • PersephoneInWinter
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED!!

    i love the rhyme pattern; it flows like a song. you have very lovely words for the person that you love!

    great write!

    LXF

    • freespirit51
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      -echoes lament-

      Thanks for your wonderful words. I am so glad this piece reached your heart.


  • warrior-eagle
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINK!

    I liked that repetitioin you had going on here,
    and how it sounds so sincere and like it came from the heart,simply beautiful.amazing./
    wow.

    ..Simply Me♥


    • freespirit51
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Warrior-Eagle

      Thanks again my friend. The repetition is part of the poem format. I am glad it touched you.


  • Fixing Tomorrow
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you repeated the same line at the end of every stanza. It's beautiful. The essence of love. Thank you!

    • freespirit51
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      fixing Tomorrow

      Thanks for your kind and generous words. I am glad this piece touched you.


  • Ithica silver member
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Another beautiful poem on another beautiful background. You have been doing some amazing work of late, my dear. Love the emotion in this piece...


    • freespirit51
      November 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Ithica

      Thanks again for your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed both the poem and the background. I must give much credit to my inspiration, he is my secret.


  • arafura gold member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    time with him...

    Great emotion in this my friend! I must have missed it before, but I'm glad i could read it now. You sound happy and positive in this. I'm glad. Good luck in the contest!


    • freespirit51
      November 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      arafura

      Thanks my friend I am glad you enjoyed it. I have new inspiration. I have become the Hemeoone of Black Crow and he has given me many days of beautiful conversation. He is my Hetane. He is the inspiration for several others.


  • AndreaChanel
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Each new day I look for the sun,
    He is my light, when day is done.
    This heart beats in countless measure,
    Time with him my greatest pleasure."

    Again reminds me of the one I love.....Each time we're apart I love to lay & daydream only hoping that the image of his face will appear.
    p.s. like the background!

    keep writing i'll keep reading

    @--)---AndreaChanel


    • freespirit51
      November 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      AndreaChanel

      Thanks for the compliment on the poem and for the background. glad you enjoyed them both. I read the words he wrote to me over and over when I miss him and need to hear him.

1 - 20 of 20