Have you ever gone to
the other side
and then came back
as a pallid paranormal horror,
begging that I cease struggling
to lick the saline sweat off my brow,
only to have me
--SPIT--
in your face
and join your selfish self
because I know you’re happy?
Author notes
Forty-nine words to honestly critique
A contest entry
- Give me your absolute BEST! IMPRESS ME! by AlwaysbeBIG.
525 points, ended January 25, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Cool
This was cool...I've written some "Have you ever" poems also...You should check them out....Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck
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Thank you
I shall have to do that later today.
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Im honestly confused by this poem but I like the ambiguity. Thank you for joining!
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It's about the friend who committed suicide came back from "the other side" (aka death) and asked me to stop thinking the very same thoughts. But then, I refused his advice because I thought he was selfish, bathing in the happiness of death.
Hope that explains it
Jen >_< -
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I got the jist...or is it gist ? anywho, i got the point, but hearing that explained out makes me like it even a little bit more Again, good job
Brandon
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this is really good. my only critique is the background, i'm not sure how well it fits. but then i read this from a personal perspective..and maybe it tells a different story for me.
good luck in this contest
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I think in the line "and then came back" you might want to use "come" instead of "came". Other than that this was interesting, though the background doesn't really suit the poem. Thank you
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