Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Trash

An itch you need to scratch, on your body I’m a rash.
You throw me away, then you go pickin’ in the trash.

A man of faith, of pride, of honor, integrity and such,
The one who holds his family high, loves his wife so much.

Years ago you lied to me, and now you bother not,
I’m not worth a lie to you, a soul your heart forgot.

It’s almost like you hate me, I’m the blame for what you do,
You consume me, ruin me, discard me when you’re through.

You prey upon my love for you, feel nothing of my pain,
And all of this I show to you, every bit in vain.

You never once missed garbage day, tossed me in the pile,
Cleaning up your dirty deeds, disappearing for awhile.

Just last week you called again, you said you needed me,
Then when you did not show, there was no apology.

And the plastic bag that held my soul, it began to tear,
Forgotten hopes and broken dreams spilled out everywhere.

A moment now of clarity, of things I should have known,
And all at once I realized, I had trash of my own.

I have a pretty decent life, and to that you do disturb,
The stench of you is building up, so I’ll put you on the curb.

Crumbled happiness all around, one strike, it burns to ash,
Incinerated memories, not in my heart, but in my trash.

z

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • An awesome emotional work of poetry Jamie. You just blew me away reading this. GOOD WORK on this one. CONGRATULATIONS ON THE TROPHIES!!


    • jamiedoring gold member
      April 30
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks so much.....

      this is one of those poems I have always been on the fence about....do I like it? should I delete it? lol....so your vote of confidence sure help! lol.....thanks again Pat, always for your friendly words.
  • dillpickle62
    December 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Some more awesome poetry here. Jeez can't you write.
    If I could have found just one who would have stuck around long enough to build Eden with me it would have been a wise investment of heart. I even put the toilet seat down.


  • Celticmoon gold member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry for the delay in judging; and thank you for taking the time to enter. I wish you the best of luck in the contest!

  • CarnalNineTailedFox
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats for the bronze in my twins contest and the honorable mention. I love this poem! Lots of emotion in this and great rhyming here, I'm envious of it! Great poem.

  • Ellis gold member
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Just love the way you write

    Thanks for reading me, too. This 5,000 POINTS OF RHYME Contest led me to you. Many rhyming poets here I don't know.
    _________


  • Fairy Nutty Buddy silver member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Intense poem and the realization that one has their own trash is a great point, we all should realize that.

    This stanza, though, is my favorite, great imagery and the plastic bag holding the soul is a unique picture.

    And the plastic bag that held my soul, it began to tear,
    Forgotten hopes and broken dreams spilled out everywhere.


  • Dorcha Runda
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hmmm interesting. i like it. thanks for your entry and good luck.

  • WarrioroftheHeart
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my contest, I have to admit I had some trouble commenting on this piece; there is a lot of anger going through this poem and at time that can make it hard for me to look objectively at the poem itself. That being said, there is a good rhythm to the poem and you did well maintaining the rhyming pairs as well as stay on the theme you selected.
    I do like the sense of release...or setting yourself free at the end (the last four stanzas) and I do like the way the story unfolded, you did a good job at this, well done and good luck in the contest.

    Adrian


  • Green Manalishi silver member
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    narcisistic goon!

    That's what this guy is. Another excellent piece. My favorite section was this:

    You prey upon my love for you, feel nothing of my pain,
    And all of this I show to you, every bit in vain.

    You never once missed garbage day, tossed me in the pile,
    Cleaning up your dirty deeds, disappearing for awhile.

    It's very good, and very original. I would include one more syllable before the comma on the second line and then omit the second occurrence of "you" after the comma for better flow: "You throw me far (dead, clean, etc.) away, then go pickin’ in the trash."


  • ThatONEweirdChick
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow very nice. i like how you go from the feeling of being kicked aside to saying that you were the one who now doesn't need that person. A good write with great flow. Thanks for entering it into my contest
  • mrme gold member
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Another Excellent Write

    Once again, you put anger and hurt and disdain in such an excellent word form. You should write a book, I'd buy it.
    The only suggestion I have, the 1st line is a bit weak. It doesn't seem to go with the rest of the poem that well and it seems a bit forced. Aside from that, the rest of the poem is excellent. I loved it.

  • Destined4Destruction silver member
    November 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    What a great write....You can be so deep at times....

  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is great!! Very good word play and originality. The rhyming and rhythm of the piece work very well, and the message behind it all is sad, but so well said. A very, very good write.
    Rory


  • romil z
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    .

1 - 15 of 15