Heat asphyxiates, air gets dark,
river..not a wave. oh, insects so damn,
fools of fear buzz, weird, gloomy thing,
forest looks, when rain does not slam.
Sudden, ray cracks. wind whistles. a coldness
of terror zing invades... storm begins,
tethers for space puffing, uncultivated ground,
The grove twists, snatches the leaf swings.
Aged native wine-palm bends top, and rustle,
birds go round in sky, in sterile hustle
between clouds of leaf, fragments of straw.
On top thunder rests, below forest roars.
roars amid vastness of clouds for force,
run serpents of fire. and rain pours out.
Author notes
Prompt: 3) Rain~
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Prompt: http://photobucket.com/image/rain/jacjacjacjac_08/rain-1.gif?o=36
A contest entry
- Romance, Pain, and Rain~ by Porcelain Doll.
425 points, ended December 6, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rain, Eyes, and Pain Quickie by takemypainaway.
900 points, ended June 26, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"On top thunder rests, below forest roars.
roars amid vastness of clouds for force,
run serpents of fire. and rain pours out."
this ending is very nice
the whole poem is very very pretty
thank you for entering
**KAT -
Pretty :)
I like this. The poem is packed with so much energy and movement, and leads wonderfully to it's conclusion. The moment of expectation, before the downpour. Very beautiful poem. Thank you for entering!
~Amy


