Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

You Will See Her Beauty (NON-ENTRY)

Look past her gray and thinning hair,
past spectacles that hide her eyes,
and you will see her beauty there.

In youth her face was bright and fair,
but time has given its disguise -
look past her gray and thinning hair,

perceive the years of loving care,
and nightly soothing baby cries,
and you will see her beauty there.

Her mind awake, her soul aware,
but still she loves a sweet surprise.
Look past her gray and thinning hair,

take time to learn and time to share
her stories as her lifespan flies,
and you will see her beauty there.

Like yours, her eyes have seen despair,
but seeking hope has made her wise.
Look past her gray and thinning hair,
and you will see her beauty there.


© Margaret I. Gibson Bates, All rights reserved

Author notes

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~Mark Twain

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. ~Samuel Ullman

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~Douglas MacArthur

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

http://www.quotegarden.com/

In a list

A contest entry

Finding the silver lining. Thanks for reading!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 41 of 41

  • lordoftherings gold member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one is more personal and philosophical than the first one I read. Love the quotes in the author's comments, especuially about "growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional";guess that is why I still truck around with Winnie-the-poohs in my head everyday while dealing with all the health issues!

    Gregg


  • gaze
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I very much enjoyed the form and the message here.
    This poem made me think of my mother.
    The rhymes are very good, I specially liked the B rhymes.
    excellent Villanelle!


  • angelica silver member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Sweetpea, I think I did all the entrants and planned to come back to NON ENTRANTS!
    I wish I had've listened more to my Mum and Nana when they would talk of the past, I would've learned so much.
    I guess I'm now in that age bracket you write of, but sometimes not always wise and we're only as old as we feel, so in my mind I'm still young.
    I love your poem sweetheart I think it's lovely and very deserving of the gold you received for it.
    Love Joan


  • Maureen silver member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dear Margaret,

    A very lovely villanelle...CONGRATULATIONS! It is well worthy of the GOLD trophy!

    I'm glad you included it...otherwise, I would have missed it and I'm happy I got the chance to read it!

    There is a saying I'm sure you've heard "Grow old along with me..the best is yet to be!" (So far, I haven't found that to be true BUT after reading your poem, I feel a little bit better about getting older and I thank you for that!)

    There is much Marisdom here! (Yes, Yem, it's catching on!)

    Best Wishes!
    ♥ Maureen


    • MargaretG
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your lovely comment and applause, Maureen. The wisdom and perspective of being older compensates somewhat for physical changes.


  • Hinemoa silver member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Margaret,
    Very wise words and very true, age to me is but a number and if we think young, we will stay young, no matter how older we get.
    Beautifully written Margaret.
    Love Hine


  • jenelda silver member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Margaret, a lot of wisdom in your words.
    We don't seemed to notice our loved ones getting old until one day we look and see that they are, a lot as you say depends on their attitude, some stay young looking while others who act old, are old. My Dad always says, you're only as young as you feel.
    Beautiful poem Margaret and worthy of the gold it received.
    Jen

    • MargaretG
      October 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for commenting Jen. I noticed this summer that my brother's hair has gone all grey. My own mirror is not giving back the same picture it used to! Your Dad is wise, we must keep moving to stay young.


  • Yemassee gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you added that last quote, the first ones were making me depressed since I seemed to be the "before" shot in them all.

    Man we are shallow people, in love with youth and beauty, we could care less about the lasting things like spirit, personality, kindness. If I lend you a shovel will you help me dig a big hole...we need to bury this shallowness...not that youth and beauty don't deserve its place.

    Anyway, sorry about that little trip I went on.

    Who was Chilli Davis...probably not the old baseball player. Title to google him.

    Much marisdom here (Margaret wisdom.) Don't laugh, watch, it'll catch on!


    • MargaretG
      October 14, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      That's a fact Yem, "we are shallow people". We are as deep as we need to be; wisdom is demonstrated in actions. Difficulty is never popular.

      • Yemassee gold member
        October 14, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        "We are as deep as we need to be"

        I think you pinned us poor humans perfectly right there. Sometimes "choose to be" but yes, mainly, "need to be". Congrats on the gold, btw. Ah, it's old. I bet I read this way back and forgot. If so, sorry, I have such a terrible memory.


        • MargaretG
          October 14, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Yem, you did not forget it, you did not read it when it was new.


  • hugh wyles silver member
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dear Margaret,

    Another saying for your collection:
    "Old age is the reward for long life - value both."

    I see this poem earned a well-deserved GOLD in last year's Winklings competition and it is a very fitting inclusion in this contest.
    It is a well-crafted villanelle in which the repeated lines blend smoothly into the message of each verse. The messages themselves are well-thought and touching and set my mind to thinking of my Nanna who died at the age of 94.

    Thankyou for entering and sharing it.
    Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh (R.)


  • Kari gold member
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, this made me think about my grandmother when I read this poem and almost gave me tears. Congrats on the gold. Well done


  • paullallady silver member
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is brilliant and well deserving of the gold!! You have told the true beauty of a woman. It is not in the 18 year olds youthful body, it is in an older womans eyes and soul after having lived, and I mean truly lived and loved.


    • MargaretG
      January 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Paulette - I'm happy you enjoyed this.
      Happy New Year!


  • Ellis gold member
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Warm and Wonderful

    Another winner of a Real Poet

    find for me. Yipee!


  • BigE
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    oops

    Forgot your applause!


  • BigE
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!

    This is such a wonderful poem, Congrats on your well deserved win!


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful imagery...

    ...beautiful poem. Congratulations on the gold.


  • Anna Emkah
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations!


    A well deserved GOLD.
    Anna.


  • Shamanicmusings
    December 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful villanelle. I have only just written my first.


  • Lyndon gold member
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    If Dylan Thomas had not made the

    Villanelle famous in modern English, would fine poets such as you be writing such fine poems as this one?
    There is nothing to point out pejoratively and much to praise. I read it aloud and a quiet passion comes through effecting a beautiful poetic utterance.

    • MargaretG
      October 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for this lovely comment Ron - last year! I think that without Thomas, I would not have learned about this form, as there are so many other poetic forms which have not come to English yet.


  • Mirthryl
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely form, well executed. Is the punctuation part of the form? It seems as if some of the thoughts might flow into subsequent stanzas with use of commas or semicolons, rather than the 'full stop' of periods? Or is each stanza to stand alone? Very nice!

    • MargaretG
      December 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your applause, and also for your thought provoking question about punctuation. No, that is not dictated by the form, and it is the foremost way of varying the refrains in their context. I will see what I can improve! I'm happy you like it.


  • kao3
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very intersting rhyme scheme, definitly caught my attention, it just felt like something was missing, why did I miss the beauty in the first place?

    • MargaretG
      November 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I'm glad you do not miss the beauty of older people. So many do - this is for that audience.
      This form is called a villanelle.
      Thanks for your interesting question and applause.


  • waydownuponjoy
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful!

    ... observation and so spot on. Loved the form you chose as it worked out so well without seeming like it was repetitive, which sometimes happens. Most enjoyable sharing. joy


  • Tirrell
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the meter of this, as it simply sweeps the reader along, quite enjoyable to read, and lovely in its imagery!


  • Lady Altheia
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really like this. I like tghe rhyme and the repition. On top of that, I like the message that beauty is in all things.


  • Tamera
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The form and repetition you chose framed your work beautifully. The lines you chose to repeat, brought your readers full circle> Each stanza never straying from the purpose of the poem, to portray elder women, and the spirit lines on their faces, as beautiful(even with thinning hair ")
    .

  • pvenugopal
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Flowing lines, calm and soothing. I thought of my mother and felt like sitting by her side with my arms around her. She uses coconut oil seasoned with pepper and certain herbs on her gray and thinning hair. I even felt the aroma of her hair oil...


  • Legend silver member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    As one who has lived this life i found that my lady got more beautiful as the years gave her face a life instead of just being a blank canvas waiting for the artist (life ) to give it character.Excellent


  • Mystical-Gardenia
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Magnificent!

    What a wonderous tribute to those who have been through the ravages, joys & mysteries of time Thank you for creating such an amazing tribute

    Wishing you much success and good luck in the contest!!

  • Anna Emkah
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I see a beauty here!

    I KNEW IT... I knew it!!!!

    You can write Masterpieces. And this is one of them! Another wonderful write from your hand. And I have to give a critique on this poem? I can only give a positive remark. The words are magnificent and the flow is impeccable. This is just a poem I love very much. I am sure, never in my lifetime I will be able to write anything that even looks a bit like it. My compliments MargaretG. Very well done.
    Anna.

    • MargaretG
      November 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Dear Anna, you know that appealing to pride and vanity always works! I didn't want to write a new one, but I'm pleased with this. Thank you.

1 - 41 of 41