Look past her gray and thinning hair,
past spectacles that hide her eyes,
and you will see her beauty there.
In youth her face was bright and fair,
but time has given its disguise -
look past her gray and thinning hair,
perceive the years of loving care,
and nightly soothing baby cries,
and you will see her beauty there.
Her mind awake, her soul aware,
but still she loves a sweet surprise.
Look past her gray and thinning hair,
take time to learn and time to share
her stories as her lifespan flies,
and you will see her beauty there.
Like yours, her eyes have seen despair,
but seeking hope has made her wise.
Look past her gray and thinning hair,
and you will see her beauty there.
In a list
A contest entry
- Wednesdays at Winklings by Winklings.
875 points, ended December 3, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thanks for reading!
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
Aww, this made me think about my grandmother when I read this poem and almost gave me tears. Congrats on the gold. Well done
-
This is brilliant and well deserving of the gold!! You have told the true beauty of a woman. It is not in the 18 year olds youthful body, it is in an older womans eyes and soul after having lived, and I mean truly lived and loved.
-
-
Thank you Paulette - I'm happy you enjoyed this.
Happy New Year!
-
-
Warm and Wonderful
Another winner of a Real Poet
find for me. Yipee! -
oops
Forgot your applause!
-
Wonderful!
This is such a wonderful poem, Congrats on your well deserved win! -
-
Thank you BigE
-
-
wonderful imagery...
...beautiful poem. Congratulations on the gold.
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Congratulations!
A well deserved GOLD.
Anna.
-
-
Thank you Anna, it was a lovely surprise today.
-
-
This is a very beautiful villanelle. I have only just written my first.
-
If Dylan Thomas had not made the
Villanelle famous in modern English, would fine poets such as you be writing such fine poems as this one?
There is nothing to point out pejoratively and much to praise. I read it aloud and a quiet passion comes through effecting a beautiful poetic utterance.
-
Lovely form, well executed. Is the punctuation part of the form? It seems as if some of the thoughts might flow into subsequent stanzas with use of commas or semicolons, rather than the 'full stop' of periods? Or is each stanza to stand alone? Very nice!
-
-
Thank you for your applause, and also for your thought provoking question about punctuation. No, that is not dictated by the form, and it is the foremost way of varying the refrains in their context. I will see what I can improve! I'm happy you like it.
-
-
Very intersting rhyme scheme, definitly caught my attention, it just felt like something was missing, why did I miss the beauty in the first place?
-
-
I'm glad you do not miss the beauty of older people. So many do - this is for that audience.
This form is called a villanelle.
Thanks for your interesting question and applause.
-
-
Wonderful!
... observation and so spot on. Loved the form you chose as it worked out so well without seeming like it was repetitive, which sometimes happens. Most enjoyable sharing. joy
-
I love the meter of this, as it simply sweeps the reader along, quite enjoyable to read, and lovely in its imagery!
-
Wow, I really like this. I like tghe rhyme and the repition. On top of that, I like the message that beauty is in all things.
-
The form and repetition you chose framed your work beautifully. The lines you chose to repeat, brought your readers full circle> Each stanza never straying from the purpose of the poem, to portray elder women, and the spirit lines on their faces, as beautiful(even with thinning hair ")
.
. Rewarded 6
-
Flowing lines, calm and soothing. I thought of my mother and felt like sitting by her side with my arms around her. She uses coconut oil seasoned with pepper and certain herbs on her gray and thinning hair. I even felt the aroma of her hair oil...
. Rewarded 4
-
As one who has lived this life i found that my lady got more beautiful as the years gave her face a life instead of just being a blank canvas waiting for the artist (life ) to give it character.Excellent
. Rewarded 4
-
Magnificent!
What a wonderous tribute to those who have been through the ravages, joys & mysteries of time Thank you for creating such an amazing tribute
Wishing you much success and good luck in the contest!!
-
-
Thank you dear Myst.
-
-
I see a beauty here!
I KNEW IT... I knew it!!!!
You can write Masterpieces. And this is one of them! Another wonderful write from your hand. And I have to give a critique on this poem? I can only give a positive remark. The words are magnificent and the flow is impeccable. This is just a poem I love very much. I am sure, never in my lifetime I will be able to write anything that even looks a bit like it. My compliments MargaretG. Very well done.
Anna.
-
-
Dear Anna, you know that appealing to pride and vanity always works! I didn't want to write a new one, but I'm pleased with this. Thank you.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
