That ring on your finger
Was suppose to be mine
You took him away from me
Do you know how much it hurts?
We were such a nice couple
So close, our souls overlapped
Until you came along
You ruined everything
Little miss perfect
You just said hello
But he was smitten the
First time he laid eyes on you
Now he's with you
And asked for your hand in marriage
You looked on top of the world
But I know you feel guilty
That ring on your finger
Is tainted with my jealously
Don't you ever forget that
Author notes
jealousy
A contest entry
- 118th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended December 29, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Seven Deadly Sins by Genesis.
1200 points, ended August 20, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thank you for your entry. I love the raw anger. How terrible to have marriage stolen from you. The flow was great and the message a good one. Actually, I think this could be amended and make it true to wrath, also. Maybe even lust. So much goes awry when love is lost. Anyway, good work!
--Genesis. -
makes me cringe
You sound as though you hate her...that is jealousy supreme. Your poem engenders feelings, well done.
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Ouch. The jealousy here is strong and honest. I really liked the ending. Great write and thanks for entering!
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what powerful jealousy and pain this pom portrays a very painful situation
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The ending to this is superb! This is a very powerful piece. Worthy of many trophy's. Very well penned!
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I like how you ended this. That even though she has a ring, it is tainted. Sometimes that's worse than no ring at all. Ahh, the woes of marraige.
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You know this struck me very hard to read this at first... I was drawn by the powerful emotions you've expressed here. Mostly because I have actually been the one who was envied. And it was interesting to read this side of the story do you know? And then I was even more impressed when I learned you are only 14! Fabulous job kiddo! You write beyond your years and I thank you for entering.
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thanks for the bronze (:
i was glad to have entered your contest!
loved the picture by the way
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Wow, this is intense. I can't say I know how that feels, judging i'm only 12.... (even though i'm pretty mature for my age) but, this is very good overall. Your feelings show through, and you did an excellent job.
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Biting! Brilliant!
THIS is exactly what I was looking for!!! Perfection!
It says everything and leaves me with nothing to add except "AWESOME!"
Thank you for entering!
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wow i feel bad for you keep fighting
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