Bronze - Abuse of a Child I- BGMA by RedwingSpirit at All poetry

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Bronze - Abuse of a Child II
In her mind she sometimes reverts, back to the past that deeply hurts. Creeping into her precious mind, like those hands underneath her skirt. In her ears, so many times, she has heard don't you tell or you will regret. In her ears, so many times, she has heard, don't you tell or we'll say you sucked our...In her ears, so many times, she has heard, don't you tell or your sisters will suffer too. No friends were made in school No emotions ever expressed. No fun she's ever had. Dirty filthy hands layed upon her breasts Dirty filthy ... forced within her mouth. Dirty filthy hands forced with in her...In fear of embarrassment In fear of life In fear of harm inflicted upon others Gentle breeze blows through her hair, reminding me that she's still here. Look forward now, you are alive. Look forward know, your past has died. They can not hurt you now, their secret has been told. © Cara L. Greenlee, All rights reserved http://allpoetry.com/poem/3636955

-feelings spawning from abuse

Child abuse... 5-14 years of age.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3495046

http://allpoetry.com/column/2338548

Please don't critique. It is true this happened to me.
These are true feeling's not made up crap. If you don't think it's poetry then delete it.

At 5 yrs old in kindergarten I thought I was smarter than those idiot's. Ignored everyone. Didn't want to be there. One time I got mad a girl named Dawn for being mean to someone so I grabbed the teachers paddle and hit her. Of course I got paddled back but the principal. Never cried or said a word when he hit me mad him mad. Had to be strong. I remember sticking up for a boy Ben. He wore thick glasses, always slobbered, 1 leg shorter than the other so he limped, always had a cold snotty tissues on his desk. Nasty. Everyone picked on him of course I got mad got my self paddled for yelling at them. Stupid kids always picking on me trying to get me to cry and make me mad. They knew I was shy. Some knew the reason why. Kids from the trailer park would threaten me if I said a word bout what they had done to us. Would start shit if they saw me talking to anyone. People would call me names, like trailer trash, slut, whore, stuff like your mommas a... , Where'd you get your close from, neighbors trash. I always cried to myself never in front of anyone. Kept my pain and anger inside. This pissed em off so they picked on me more. To try to make me cry. On the playground, I always sat by the building. Watching everyone play boring games. Middle school wasn't as bad, more kids from different schools. I was spread out from my previous schoolmates. But still ran across some of those idiot's and they ran their mouths to new friends. Now I had new aggravations to deal with.
The reason I why so shy was because me and Amanda and Cari were molested by neighborhood kids. Off and on from 5-14. Not going into detail don't remember much blacked most of it out. Just remembered it happened in the woods. At first they said we got stuff for ya candy, or a puppy's there and you know. Then it was blackmail or abuse to get us there. I remember carrying Christina around just so I could walk to get mail or to smoke in peace. So they wouldn't throw rocks or spit and throw mud at us for trying to avoid their meanness. A few times the shit happened in or house. When my mom was drinking and dad working. Keith the neighbor moved in next door with girlfriend Lisa and 3 kids at first mommy trusted them to keep an eye on us. They did at first. We was all over their house all the time playing cards . Lisa would do our hair. We'd watch their kids for them sometimes. They let us drink me 13 cari 12 Amanda 11, mostly me. Then the shit started with Keith. We went one night Cari Amanda, and me with him to get some firewood somewhere far away. On the way there he put his hand between my legs. I got nervous Cari said he grabbed her butt that night when she picked up a log. I didn’t go to his house for a few days. Went back and babysat One night fell asleep he came home sat down and started rubbing my hair and face then my breasts and under my dress waking me up. I jumped up felt guilty cause Lisa walked in. She said what the matter said nothing and ran out. Went back me Cari Lisa and him playing euchre he started with his feet under the table got up and ran to the bathroom said I had to pee. This shit went on all winter. Finally day of my birthday Mommy and Lisa took Cari and Amanda and Christina to go get my birthday present and cake me and Johnny stayed home was riding our bikes they went by and stopped and said doors looked don't go to Keith’s either kids are sleeping just ride your bikes said all right 2 hours went by we were tired of waiting so we went to Keith’s opened the door and walked in . He shoved Johnny out the door and locked it. He tried to rape me but I got away clothes half off. Later on we had my party over there. Didn't want to but he threatened me if I said a word. So I had to act like nothing happened. They fixed Daiquiris Keith poured vodka in mine when my mom wasn't looking. 14 days later I got in a fight with a stupid bitch in the trailer court. I just let all my frustrations out. Bus driver had to pull me off of her. Later I told Michelle, Cari's friend what happened and she told Lisa. Lisa came to me and I told her. Keith got in trouble along with two kids. I just got mad and told everyone.
But from all of this crap I’ve learned to be a good person. Learned to be independent. Strong, Not really screwed up from all of it. I hate looking back and have nothing good to remember. Guess I got to make a good memories now for myself and others I'm around. Got to go and don't lose this letter. I want it. Case I ever get to counseling. So I don't have to tell them why I'm fucked up . Just let them