Clouds of barren chances swim across
the shore line of laws to many broken myths.
Dishes of uneven porportions clatter
to the rhythmitic whir of the electric chair,
Innocent tears drown the mystic volume
for factual justice.
A contest entry
- 1 hour contest - closes in 1 hour by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended November 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like the way you sculpt the language in this peice. it has a pretty good flow, too, as one reads. However, I am not entirely aware of the subject matter of this poem. Once I think it's something, it turns out that it may something else. However, I still like it as an interesting read.
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A good write. Nice metaphors. Good imagery, flow and tone. Nice depth of feeling. Good word choice. Nice alliteration. Best wishes in the contest. Mom

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I like the metaphors, but the images are so random and don't really make this a cohesive poem imagery/metaphor-wise. Besides that, this has a strong meaning and I did like this. Thanks for entering and good luck.



