an arm lay outstretched
on uncomfortable concrete
as feet hopped over and around
and whispers floated
above and below
eyes searched
and mouths twitched
with feigned interest
but only for seconds
before being forgotten
no one bent
to touch the hand
preferring to play hop scotch
around its stark reality
as light snow fell
to cover fingers
grown still in cold
and ice formed on tips
forever leaving the
palm reaching upwards
but people walked by
with their spirit of Christmas
tucked neatly in packages
under well fed arms
as the city sidewalks sparkled
with poverty's holiday cheer...
In a list
A contest entry
- 1 hour contest - closes in 1 hour by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended November 24, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is good and so sad. Well done very strong a clear message and most of all a very beautiful poem that touched me
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Such a sad look at socities downfall - the poor and homeless and how we go on with our Christmas cheer not caring for those who are so less fortunate. Sentiments well expressed - easy to read and understand. Congrats on taking gold in this contest.
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it was very well worded and I enjoyed it alot
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There is much pontificating re what constitutes poetry,some say form,some rhyme and others show but not tell,for me 'tis the penultimate stanza that sums the piece up,imagery and emotion with a thought provoking notion re city sidewalks...
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This is amazing! City Sidewalks . . . so true and cuts right to the point. I live a few blocks from one of the most major streets in my small city and the homeless people seem like ghosts to all who walk by. Structurally, your poem flows evenly with well-planned meter and feet. One minor suggestion - terminating punctuation may add to the tone of the poem. Since there are no implicit stops, it begins to read as one long sentence. Overall, an ecellent write! Best of luck in the contest.
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First Class
Amen!
This is just so real. (I wish I could write like this)
Joe
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Very good and very raw and honest.
This is pretty much how I feel about the Christmas holidays or Holidaze as I call them. Everyone trying to out do everyone else. How sad that we let homeless and less fortunate ones just fade into the background.
Loved this
Becky
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Very powerful, contradicting and ironic. Pure genius.
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