Pain intensifying,
Let's me know I'm alive.
Pure suffering.
Fact.
If I feel,I'm alive.
Author notes
Contest Prompt..no bullshit....
My mother taught me if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all. We are not here as pros, we are here to share our art and have fun. *grin*
Comments
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This is good stuff. I think that one of the most important aspects of poetry is some sort of contrast, something being set off against something else, and you have that here. Putting the extreme pain in very simple language right next to the satisfaction (it sounded like satisfaction to me. Am I inferring too much? of being alive gives this short piece a really good sense of movement, and it is definitely going somewhere and saying something rather than just being listless exposition like a lot of pain-poems are.
I'll definitely be browsing your stuff for a while
P.S. thanks for the very kind words on Button -
dido
my knees and neck are drivin me nuts! U got a sledge hammer!!!!!!!!

