Time was almost up and the light was almost gone.
The night was over it was almost dawn.
People are running and screaming.
Warnings were out, we are not dreaming.
There is no escaping from this fate.
We deserve what's happening because all our hate.
The government said it wasn't for generations to come.
They were so wrong, deaf, blind and dumb.
How could this be happening to us.
It is the end, all that's left is dust.
Author notes
it is the end of everything
A contest entry
- The End of..... by Anna Emkah.
600 points, ended December 4, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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awsome write really! Absolutly loved this peice as I do all your work. Such great imagination found within your mind! Keep it up!
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A very interesting poem. It's very sad to realize that one day the world will not be there anymore. I do not know if you are religious, but the Bible says: At the end of the world's existence, God will come back as a thief in the night, while nobody expects Him to come back at that particular day. So, that's why we have to be prepared for His coming right now! Not even a government will know the time and date, but when we look around us we can see that the signs are already there, that the end of this world might come soon.
A few remarks about the contents of this poem. If I were you I would change the first two lines in this way:
The night was over, it was almost dawn. (or: see below)
Time was almost up and the light was almost gone.
Do you see the difference?
You wrote: because (of) all our hate. I would put 'of' in between 'because' and 'all'.
If I were you I would check the tenses once more. It's a bit of mixture now. The best would be to put it in the present tense, for that's the most direct!
Like this:
The night is over, soon it will be dawn. (... ?)
Time is almost up and the light is almost gone.
People are running and screaming.
Warnings are out, we are not dreaming. etc.....
NB. Making some changes might give you an even better chance in the contest. Good luck. Anna.
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i feel like this is nearly the truth , your thoughts you have written here about the end , i feel that it is near as well , i am not sure how it is going to happen but we don't have much time left on this earth , it is at a boiling point , all of the countries colliding at each other and there is no peace only war all around , seems kind of scary but i try not to think about the end so near and clear
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food for thought here. the sad thing about it is, this is something we have to be on our toes about because in "the end" it seems inevitable
best of luck in the contest. bewell and be blessed
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Good
A thought provoking, not so gentle poem. Nicely structured, well written with poetic flare. All the components for a good poem are here and you have expressed them well.
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