The goddess rises from the sea,
long, pale hair falling around her,
the tips entwining - o! loving! - the aphros.
Her naked form entrances him, as she
offers him his choice: weighty book in her left,
bejeweled goblet of heady wine in her right.
"My son, I have a gift for you. You may choose
only one, so be wise..." Palest eyes take grasp
his own, angelic voices flowing o'er the waves.
Dizzy, light-headed, he contemplates his
brides to be. A lifetime of knowledge, or
of love, passion, desire? An important
decision, to be sure, for this goddess
marries for eternity, and one must bear
the consequences of ones actions, be they
beautiful or be they rotten.
Desire he'd had, passion he'd experienced.
Nothing sweeter than bedding a woman, tangled
in a stranger's sheets, then slipping away
before dawn, for she'd never love him in the
light of day. Love. Love... he pondered.
"I've made my choice," says he, "and it's
the weighty book I'll have. For love doth
birth from wisdom's womb, with heady wine
its own."
Author notes
" Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood. "
~ George Orwell
A contest entry
- Poetry Presents: Quote, Color, Picture Inspired Contest! by Pixielated.
600 points, ended November 25, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is a very interesting take on the quote. Very unique. Great piece, and well written. Thanks.
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Thank y ou
Thank you for considering this piece, and also for holding a contest that provokes us. Thanks for the response.
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A bit classical
Hi!
I like the flow and I can feel the rhythm.
I see you are talented and the way you paint your imagination it is amazing. But it sounds a little bit classical to me.
I have a little suggestion here:
If you can balance stanzas to fit into threes, fours, fives and whatever I think it will be fine too.
I’m glad he chose the weighty book.
I just took moment thinking about (heady/ wine/ birth/ wisdom. In reality, they have profound meanings within this poem.
I love these lines:
"I've made my choice," says he, "and it's
the weighty book I'll have. For love doth
birth from wisdom's womb, with heady wine
its own."
Love it!
Take care!
Scarzat
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Thank You
Like I told Emile, I'm trying to grow, to be more definitive, and to develop the art of poetry instead of just "stream of consciousness in pretty words" kind of thing. I haven't tried hard at writing a poem in years, so I'm a little rocky; bear with me.
I used to write all my stanzas the same length, with meter and sometimes rhyme. I left meter and rhyme to write free verse, and naturally slipped into undefined stanzas. I only began a new stanza when I was going to shift a thought, kind of like starting a new paragraph in an essay or something. How can I keep the same artistic freedom I enjoy while restricting myself to a number of lines? Maybe just change where my line breaks are within each stanza?
I agree. The last stanza is my absolute favorite. I only wish I could convey the same feeling that that stanza has throughout the rest, but I'm just not sure I'm capable.
As far as being glad he chose the weighty book.. I wrote this poem as a contest entry, but the quote reminded me of a friend of mine. He wants the woman he marries to "get him" and love him, too, and feels that if she only loved him, he'd be settling. Right now, he keeps looking at girls around 17 and 18 y/o (he's 26, mind you) and wonders why he's having such a hard time! Aye. Eventually, he'll learn what I tried to express in this piece.
Thanks for your time. -
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Hi!
I don’t know, perhaps your friend is looking for one-sided love.
You said, he is 26 and keeps looking at girls around 17 and 18 on the street? Wowwwwwwww. What about 22? Maybe he wants to marry a girl not a woman.
If you don’t mind, from that perspective point of view, I think his sweet heart has to do the same. (Looking at boys around 17 and 18 too. LOL
Eventually, he'll learn.
Scarzat
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He wants to marry a woman, but is frustrated when all he finds are girls. It's ridiculous. I'm 22, and I'm no Angelina Jolie, but I didn't just fall off the ugly caboose, either. He won't even look my direction. Which is just fine with me.
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Very good
The words are magical and beautifully expressed in a sea of swirling phrases that dance upon the tongue. This poem is "whimsical & magical " in its content and its delivery. You tell a story with such freshness and reality that it soon attaches itself to our reality and we take partial ownership of the emotions poured forth.
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Thank you
Thank you for your response. You're artistic even in your comments. Beautiful. I'm trying to take advantage of the contests on this site (I'm very new here), and hoping they'll help me in growing to write beyond love/relationships, follow rules, etc. etc., and just put more time into my work.
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