Answering Machines
hello....
it's me
it feels like we
haven't spoken in years
even thought
we just spoke days ago
...
your right
I'm different now
there's no need for metaphor's
or fancy words
no falling stars
or saddened tears
...
watching two children play
their laughter
struck me
you made me laugh like that
the innocence of it u know
...
i found your bracelet you gave to me
in a pair of my old jeans
it took me back
...
yeah I know
me too...
well sorry i miss ya
and that this message is so short
I'll call back.
miss ya
Steven Mels
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Son:
I have read this and I feel like I have invaded your privacy.....
The bracelet, could it be the one given to her by me last Christmas?
Just a thought, if it is, it is now in good hands..... Save it please, in
rememberance of me.....
This is very heartfelt, and very well written, emotions, most certainly there.....
Welcome back, son.....
God bless you always, MoM
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I like this... i feel as if I've just eavesdropped...
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I Found your bracelet
I have have lost my mind .. my children took what I had and left it empty.If you care to share what little you have I will wonder open your generous nature. Odd night, sweet dreams to all in the the living.
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refreshingly simple
not sure if the errors are on purpose!! Yet, nice to see something that simply works. You read so many poems that are overdone - attempting to use language which just doesn't fit or cannot be maintained. Worse still are those dodgy lines, where grammar and meaning is thrown out to ensure that it rhymes!!! This doesn't compromise - just works because it does (and because it is well written)
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reminds me of conversations i have had.. not the words, the feeling behind them.
i still love the second stanza.
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