Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Welcome to Turmoil Tower



My Prompt

 

The steps are built from failure.
Brick walls constructed of sin.
Railings forged hot in regret,
all designed to keep me in.

The top, it seems, will never come
and my legs drag, weary and slow.
What even awaits me at the end,
don't think I could bear to know.

Tall, thin windows set each scene,
glowing with what I could have been.
Perhaps one day I'll escape through one,
but I keep climbing until then.

Author notes

A bit mad? I'm mad as a hatter!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • William Vercelli
    February 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow! Very descriptive and poignant! I was really imagining this! great poem!

  • dillpickle62
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Haha...Great!

    Great poem! Welcome to the crowd of madness. It's alot of fun being a crazy poet for the ones of us who know it and except the challenge. Excellently penned.


  • Never Fall in Love
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    haha, definitely mad as a hatter!
    But you make this contest so much harder to judge - because I absolutely adore your poem!
    The last lines pulled it together perfectly and it's so effective and gosh, I don't know what to say at all!

    Good Luck
    Never ♥

  • OurxBeginning
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is really good. It's short but it holds a lot of emotion. I enjoyed the rhyming. Well done and good luck.


  • Rakerman1
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I've always loved dark poetry....especially when it's as well written as this one is.

    Excellent writing
    Vey well done
    Raker


  • sweet-loving
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    its short and simple i love it and the end keeps you thinking


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well I must say that you write very well.
    when you are a bit mad, as you say.
    I really enjoyed your write.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


  • Marzipan
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Aw this is such a beautiful image, beautiful but terrible at the same time =( I love it
    I thought that perhaps the end was death, and that perhaps the windows were an earlier route into that. Not a nice thought, and you probably meant escape to a better life, but oh well. Just my interpretation ... wonderful piece xxx


  • Hopelessly Hopeful
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really loved these lines "tall, thin windows set each scene, glowing with what I could have been." Each day I see what I could have and should have been so I know how all of the possibilities can drive you insane. I liked how you described all of this as a object that you have to climb to reach instead of fall into. Painted a different outlook. We all have to have goals don't we.


  • samara11278
    November 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    Nick, this is amazing.
    I love the imagery, metaphor, rhyme scheme, everything!

    "The steps are built from failure.
    Brick walls constructed of sin.
    Railings forged hot in regret,..."

    Awesome.
    Great job!


  • bookaddict -SYV-
    November 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this a lot. Metaphor, flow, and imagery are all effective.


    • NickN
      November 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

1 - 12 of 12