There's nothing all that remarkable about him
His sinful seafoam green eyes make me shiver when he so much as glances my way
He speaks in allegories & riddles always alluding to the fact that he's never been in love
It's the way he can speak so beautifully of all the lost loves throughout time with a meloncholy note in his voice as if he wishes he could have the chance to lose someone in a historically written romance
He smells like Irish Spring & could've beens
He's one of those kids; the ones you can see right through if you're not paying attention
the kind that you could blow away if you tried
He's a misspelling in the paper
the love letter torn and tossed into the wind
the skip in your favourite song
He's the one person you've been waiting for
He's the one person you'll forget.
A contest entry
- prose by whiterabbit..
335 points, ended March 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is really great. I love the details and the way that you described everything. Wonderful job and thanks for entering.
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I disagree, I think the grammer (or lack of) adds to the graphology of the piece. And it flows
in any case it's pretty
x
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first of all,I looooove your nickname! second, thsi piece in here is amazing!I love the atmosphere and the waord you've chosen!well done!keep up!
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Awww. I wish you didn't have that last line because it would have been sweet to end at "he's the one person you've ben waiting for" But that last line sure stings. I love the line "He smells like Irish Spring & could've beens". Maybe some punctuation and different formatting would do wonders for this piece. Just a suggestion. Very good either way. Keep it up!
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