No Hope

I sit staring out my window,
Gazing out at the surface of the planet,
The green grass,
The bright colored flowers,
The dark blue water,
The bright yellow sun in the sky,
Wishing I could be a part of it...

I sit staring out my window,
Feeling alone,
Feeling empty,
Feeling strange,
Feeling different...

I sit staring out my window,
At the people who walk by,
Listening to their laughing,
Hearing their joy,
Feeling their presence from afar...

I sit staring out my window,
Wanting to be more then I am...

I am an outsider...

I stand in darkness,
Hid in the shadows,
And gaze upon the earth,
Behind windows and locked doors...

I feel my loneliness rising within,
I feel my emptiness begin to fade into nothingness,
I feel myself getting stranger by the second,
I feel my difference from others,
Becoming like a curse...

I begin to wish to die,
To leave my sad and lonely life,
To leave everything, yet nothing behind...

I have no friends,
I have no family,
I have no place else to go...

I am nothing more then an Outsider...

My heart is empty,
My soul is cold,
My blood is nothing but ash,
My body is deformed from hiding in the shadows...

I feel no hope,
I feel nothing for myself,
Or anyone for that matter...

I wish things could be different,
But I feel as if it is too late.
That I am doomed to be what I chose.
I chose to be an outsider...

I thought it would help me forget the lies,
I was wrong...
I cant forget

I thought it would help the wounds heal,
I was wrong...
they're deeper then I thought

I thought it would help these feelings stop
I was right
I can't feel anything

I am an outsider,
I feel nothing
I have no power,
I have no hope...