Speak now or forever hold your peace
[I promise not to
struggle against you..]
"Therapy wouldn't help you."
Lips trembled
and back then a kiss meant so much.
A kiss satisfied your heart
[if that was even where
you held your expectations.]
"We are more than that..."
Maybe we were less-
To be let down
before you've been built up
is to have your heart broken
before you've fallen in love.
A change-over in voice.
A higher pitch;
somehow I could see you in the dark
clutching the blankets against your clenched fists
that once held handfuls of my hair.
Was I willing,
or have I only been so well convinced?
You have let your heavy breath spill down my neck;
eyes shooting molten words into an ashy river.
I never thought I'd see you cry,
but now that I have,
I'm not sure I ever want you to stop.
this was the boy of less years
-- It is as if I am a mother now, if anything else.
Cradling you and telling you it's meant to be
even if it is killing me;
weaving you lies with fallen follicles.
You turn from the grave;
someone taught you
to clean the dirt
from under your nails..
[What a shame,]
and no one will ever
even know..
" No regrets"
or nothing but?
Don't worry this isn't goodbye
[ it's a lot more like
I can't
stand you.]
Set back the clock--
make it last forever
even if
it's already
over...
Author notes
People have a tendency of understand my writes better than I do.. so, Help?
Hell in harmony
Inspired by;
The day you get hit by a car, is the day I can sleep again.
A contest entry
- {Self}---inspiration. by Tinkerbell-Or-Me.
1000 points, ended January 7, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Dirty Pretty Poetry by Carpe Noctem.
525 points, ended January 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bones contest by bones7.
490 points, ended January 31, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
This really wasn't what I was asking for,But it still is a good poem.
-
This I really liked. It was long, but I never thought about stopping because you just had me hooked. You had some great lines in here.
"Don't worry this isn't goodbye
[ it's a lot more like
I can't
stand you.]"
I love that. I could say it to a few people I know, in fact.
I can relate to this so well it isn't even funny.
Beautiful write. Thanks for sharing.
-mandy -
Poems like this are what make dirty pretty so beautiful.
Very thoughtful and very sad. Love it! Great write.
-
Again, very beautiful. The sadness is screaming off the pages, but it is so amazingly beautiful. Thanks again for entering, and best of luck!
-
To be let down
before you've been built up
is to have your heart broken
before you've fallen in love.very cleverly put darling. i love this
I never thought I'd see you cry,
but now that I have,
I'm not sure I ever want you to stop.it seems a if you've stolen the words
from my lips.
it is quite beautiful.
♥ ♥
[[alexsis]]
-
"this was the boy of less years
-- It is as if I am a mother now, if anything else.
Cradling you and telling you it's meant to be
even if it is killing me;
weaving you lies with fallen follicles.
You turn from the grave;
someone taught you
to clean the dirt
from under your nails.. "
haha, i SO thought this was from you had me at goodbye, because of the title. =]]
but good job.
because if it was that i was a little confused.
it fits to -(the day you get hit by a car...etc) better =]
good job m'love!<3
-
WOW
This just rips my heart apart and some of these lines remind me of my own failed love. Amazing job as always. Jane
Fave part:
Lips trembled
and back then a kiss meant so much.
A kiss satisfied your heart
[if that was even where
you held your expectations.]
"We are more than that..."
Maybe we were less-
To be let down
before you've been built up
is to have your heart broken
before you've fallen in love.
-
"To be let down
before you've been built up
is to have your heart broken
before you've fallen in love."
this pertains to me so much.
as for the ending i thought it was good but could be better. honestly though i think this comes to close to the heart to even be changed so i say you've done well dear
<3
-
wow. this is just..amazing. you said it was GAY not TEARJERKING!! gawsh =[ haha. yeah. it brought tears to my eyes. it is stunning. you always know how to say everything in such an..imaginative way. brilliance mom. haha =]]
-
"To be let down
before you've been built up
is to have your heart broken
before you've fallen in love."
"I never thought I'd see you cry,
but now that I have,
I'm not sure I ever want you to stop."
Oh wow dear.
I got so many mixed emotions through this.
Love it.
and you <3
~Princess of Shadows~
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