I don't see why I even wished,
I don't see why I cared,
But whenever I would talk to you
I'd get shy and really scared;
You didn't care how I felt,
I wasn't good enough
Still I don't see why you had to be so rough;
You brushed me off as a weird little freak
With the nerve to hassle you,
But you never thought of my one true goal,
You couldn't see from my point of veiw;
You crushed the girl that dared to dream,
You smashed her deep inside,
The one girl who dared to adore you,
The only one that tried.
Author notes
Actually, not really written about my experiences, but the experiences of a close friend. And the guy happens to be getting a face full of fist from me on Monday, for screwing with her. He's such an idiot...
And yeah sorry... it's not that good and the title isn't original, but I kinda have writer's block, so it's kinda hard to think.
And I actually have had similar experiences, but really it was written about hers and not mine. Mine don't matter anymore...
A contest entry
- Show your heartbreak.(Prewrites now allowed) by GhettoBarbiemitbaby.
600 points, ended November 25, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Good by Dorcha Runda.
450 points, ended December 15, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbroken by Love-Lee.
300 points, ended January 1, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Contest! by lemonhead.
520 points, ended January 12, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatcha got now? by Southern Darling.
700 points, ended January 1, 2008, 35 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love AND PAIN by Ben and Brook.
300 points, ended April 28, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for Cheaters by BigE.
450 points, ended May 15, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think!!!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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the horrid pains that overcome our bodies... very well expressed in this poem keep up the good work
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Heartfelt and touching. Not MARKEDLY original themes, I'll admit, but you did a good job of expressing them through your own life lense. The spartan language lends authenticity and defined moods. Well done
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Freiends would comfort her, but real friends wopuld walk right up to him and say it's because you're gay isn't it! THis was beautiful! Thanks for the entry!
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Poor girl, I hate it when guys do this to innocent girls. I have a funny story, my freshman year of highschool and my friend was in 8th grade- she liked the marching band drum major and when my other friend asked him out for her he said no "im gay". i thought he was being an ass- but then at school (this was over the summer before school started...) i found out he really was gay! just a little bit of a story to try to lighten up the heartbreak!
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i am so sorry this happened to your friend...i know exactly how that feels. i hope you kicked his ass. great poem too. love it. thanks for your entry and good luck.
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that was really good!!!!
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My judgement is....
"You crushed the girl that dared to dream,
You smashed her deep inside,
The one girl who dared to adore you,"
I'm semi emotional when I read that...cause I understand it perfectly...Good luck in the contest.
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