Some sentences do not close
with words left dangling
they become likened to wild places
impersonal and greedy for an end
faceless like shadows left in the sun
too long
they just spill without direction
not unnaturally
for nature understands such chaos
it too lacks punctuation
not needing to pause
when everything is seamless
but some actions are the same
with no connection to thought
they just fall from the edge
of this paper
this metaphor of me
Author notes
Inspired by something Muddyking wrote. Read him!
In a list
A contest entry
- My Favorites Frenzy... D - J by poetryality.
525 points, ended December 6, 2007, 3 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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What an explosion! You are the poet little sis'. Yes, yes, and again...yes! I love the opening lines. I often feel like I've left something unsaid when I write. Those words that seem invisible may simply be the ones that "dangle". I know if this was inspired by a writ from Richard, it must be in exact response. He is so easy to read. Thanks for the reminder. I haven't visited his work in a while.
Thank you ever so much for this enticing entry. This is the kind of poem one must read over and over just to file through the layers. A very unique take on the prompt. Gosh! I love my favorites!
The best to you in this comp and in all you set out to accomplish in life.
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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just another kick ass piece... i love your imagery!!! and your form always makes it easier to read, keeps a unique flow that doesn't you leave screaming... "oh god does it end?!"
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i have a life sentence
this made me sigh...
you have said much that i wish i were capable of saying
elaine
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what gill said
pain prevents me saying a lot more (not personal pain, physical pain )
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This is exactly how I'm feeling today, every sentence is like an open wound~ unfinished, and hanging. I love how you compare this process with nature. Excellent. I love Muddy, and yes, he often inspires me too.
Fantastic.
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Thoroughly enjoyed this,I read it to myself and aloud and upon reading it aloud it seemed to as if elongating "end" to ending would work too,but am rambling,love this,Bravo.
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wonderful.. really wonderful
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sigh
no need for any more words
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Oh for fuck sakes...
this is why I only sneak in here once in a while... when you're not looking.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
I know... I've only earned one star at best so far.
Fine,fine...fine!
Keep the stars, I'm just always astounded by your word choice. It's not even really the word choice; it's the way you detach things from the string they once belonged to.
I think you'll be famous one day. It's a rare gift to pull strings away and bear what hidden in the kitten's paws.
You are a metaphor and will always be and me... besides having a few too many... I shall be content to dangle as a string. Errrr...I'll tie a few moron yet.
Best to you,
You inspire, Kj
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Yeah, I love this too!
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faceless like shadows left in the sun
too long
they just spill without direction---------> brilliant!
i love muddyking. he is a clever writer.
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