Windows to my soul,
framed in mascara
crudely conceal the joy.
Basking in the five o’clock
shadow of your life
watching you consume
almond scented wine;
I whisper a silent
goodbye.
In a list
Comments:
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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You got me! Arrgggghhhhh! I love you. You deleted my comment. So, I am making a new one.
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I don't understand why you don't like free verse -
or feel that you are not accomplished at it.
I find your free verse fascinating and rather intense.
Love the silently seething nature of this one. The tone is one of words being spoken through clenched teeth.
Incredible write.
I think you should do free verse more often!
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I really like the shortness of this poem, and the imagery that actually goes with it. The first two lines of the second paragraph are really good, and actually make the reader think about it
Well done!
Leander
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This is very good. Well done! you dont write many free verse bu tyou crooned a darn good one here!
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"watching you consume
almond scented wine;"
I like this very much. Best wishes in your contest, dear!
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This is almost something that is naughty but nice but owned by your better judgement in the end. Good decision maker I reckon that makes you!
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Superb, the descriptive emotions you put in this made me feel so sad at the end...but is that not the way most goodbyes are??? Hope this is just your Muse for the prompt.....MUAH DOLLFACE!
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Thanks sis, yea just my muse I haven't killed anyone lately. Can you believe it? It's free verse!
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Neet!
I like looking into your eyes, even with the mascara.
Joe
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Wow...such a powerful poem creeping silently and attacking unexpectedly to its victim...a 'poison' is a fantastic metaphor to 'goodbye'...you're so great!!!
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Wow!!
This is one Powerful piece penned Sweet Soul
Love Your Free Verse~~
and the energy You have exuded in this write!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Love this!!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Bitter Almonds, you know that simple words, or more properly perhaps, the 'lack' of words, can poison any relationship?
fortunately I was just delivered a new full, unopened case, in an entirely unexpected way.
Dad
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A free verse! Wow!!! I haven't read one of your free verse before, but you did this as well as all your other forms! I absolutely LOVED the ending!!!
This poem is going to win another award for your trophy case!
Always,
Cassie
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WOW!!!!!!! What a read this one is! You may not do Free Verse very often, but girl when you do, they pack a punch!!! What a great job on this one!!! I love it!!
Best of luck in this contest!!
and love
Nyetta
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Wow my little friend you said a mouth full with power
and yetsuch few words.
I know that this was surly thought of
You did an amazing job on this
Good luck in the contest
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The words seem so carefully chosen and create such power...
I find it so fascinating how short writes, when well crafted, can tell quite an extensive story.
Very well done...of course
I think it's awesome!
♥
Michele
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