Shut the door, a whisper sounds
As the silence swirls around you
It's too much, it's too fast
Feel control slip through your fingers
But you still can get it back
Sift through the drawer
Search under the bed
For tools so craftily hidden
Lift the razor
So delicately cherished
And adrenaline floods through your veins
Slide down the wall
Cradled by the corner
A single stream of light
Beneath the door
The only proof you have
That you are still alive
A single cut
A careful slice
Just to test the sharpness
A gasp of pleasure
A sigh of relief
As you pull from the shallow scrape
The blood-stained blade
It's too soon to
Feel the pain surge through you
The tingle up your arm
Still nothing but desire
More, more, one more
Just enough to feel alive
Not too deep, not just yet
Still, there's time to better
The taste of rust
On your bitten lip
Yesterday's pain is flowing free
Your goal, just now,
Is not suicide
No, it is not death you seek
What you seek is an escape
From the tension, the stress
But you haven't found it
Not yet
Go back, relapse
The fear tumbles over
Suddenly, the room's too closed
The lights are far too dark
You long to jump
For that stream of white
But fear that you will fall
Your peace of the moment
Has shattered, crumbled
Down to the pages
Of the paperback book beside you
Where characters live
Their happy lives
And jealousy radiates through you
You can't remember
How it started
Can't remember
Just when it began
What began as an accidental
Slip of the knife
Turned into an addiction
From which you couldn't
Just run away
A bitter sensation
Fills your mouth
You're choking
On all your mistakes
You struggle to lay the knife down
But it's another loss
Predetermined by fate
Author notes
4) Wordbank. Use at least ten of the words. If it sounds forced, you won't win.
[[Words I used: Cut, Razor, Crimson, Wall, Suicide, Shattered, Accidental, Relapse, Paperback, Blade, Radiates, Shallow, Deep, Mouth, Pain, Taste, Struggle, Lost]]
I'm sorry it's so long. Honestly, I've already cut out 6 stanzas and I think any more will be considered murdering. I just can't shorten it without messing with the meter too. So sorry, hope it's not an annoying read though.
Yea, I had a few options under consideration, but this one seemed to flow best so I decided to settle with this one for my official entry.
A contest entry
- I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real... by Avalanche.Echo.
450 points, ended December 8, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment, please!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow, this was amazing. I loved it. My favorite lines were
Feel control slip through your fingers
But you still can get it back
I also loved the 4th, 9th, and 10th stanzas. Awesome write.
XXCrimsonRaineX -
I absolutely love the imagery in this.
You focused so much on the surroundings, and how the character felt, I think i lost myself in this. Thats a really good thing, i hardly read stuff anymore that I can ctually concentrate on.
Great use or words, you're amazing.
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Wow
speachless that someone could write a poem so well about cutting,the crimson blood that falls the emotions just WOW
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this was great. I have this problem with my friend. This was touching.
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Nice. I like long when it's well-done, and yours is definitely well-done. I loved the style, and the feel, and the way you captured it so well.
And, you actually obeyed the rules! That's refreshing. I've had to DQ more than I haven't so far, because people didn't follow the rules.
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