What wicked rain that wreaks its way
outside the sights we've seen
does deepen us in Satan's lush
does darken what's unclean?
What beauty lives up in the air
of loft untainted light
would buy this long and lonesome song
would cry this starless night?
What rain
would rain itself away?
What light
would fight a fight
that winning wouldn't take away
the reasons it was right?
What savior makes his bed of stones
to sink beneath the sea?
What anything of anyone
will make its way to me?
What ocean current chills my wings
then brings me to my knees?
I've really only this to ask...
Will someone save me please?
In a list
sink with me in this one
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Exquisite :)
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I will
x
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Again, sheer pleasure
I am finding myself further entrenched in the complicated, labyrinthian, yet fluid works that you seemingly conjure so effortlessly. Enthrallling. -
the fave game:
love that this is riddled with questions. not only does the reader read, but is asked to think of such answers.
fave line:
What savior makes his bed of stones
to sink beneath the sea? -
very dark, and i flows well.
A+ great write,
KNIGHT TIME
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lenjoyed this through and through-great questions and introspective thought-especially liked 'that winning wouldn't take away
the reasons it was right?' how true indeed.
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I am touched. Quite exquisitely.
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am i the only one to help myself? ...but i can't do that when my own free will is gone... I love what you are saying,i truely feel this way alot with things in life, and the sincerity is very believable in this poem. but i personally feel like i could connect with it more if you do not rhyme with this kind of topic, because without a rythem or a rhyme; it shows more that you are uncapable too make a ryhme, like being uncapable to help yourself...
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I always love your questions.
great job
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Incredible. This had such great flow, form, and pacing. Add the kick to the gut from the emotional content, and you have yourself a helluva poem.
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oh wow. I absolutely love this piece! My ultimate favorite line is "what savior makes his bed of stones, to sink beneath the sea?" Simply amazing! I dont really know what else to say, so I'm gonna shut up now.
-Alex
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