palms up,
fingers bruised.
i keep these particles together.
for the devil to steal and eat.
eat and repeat.
i sew these follicles together
for chemicals to dance through,
empty out
abandon.
a bed warm from the machines,
“wish you were here”
Author notes
1. Samantha aka miss midnight
2. 16
3. 3 years
4. short poems
5. ummm..rhyme..i guess
6. music
7. none
8. my trophies
9. i play volleyball
10. none
A contest entry
- Post Secret Inspired by vertigo beat.
1750 points, ended November 27, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - project poetry season one [prewrite & fresh auditions] by blackday.
600 points, ended March 27, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I do like your short style, but the poem was lacking in a profound moment to me. In short poems, I expect more of an "ahhhh" moment, kind of like haiku, but on a grander scale.
You can edit or enter again if you wish. :]
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oh my god...how have I missed this...it's completely a different you..no more floods of light and sadness...
just a new and poetic steady breathing....it's quite marvelous
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This is very well written and the lay out works very well with it.
I see a bit of Pink Floyd at the end
fantastic imagery here in these lines...
i keep these particles together.
for the devil to steal and eat.
eat and repeat.
A great job with the prompt.
Becky
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you've done extremely well. no, really. you have.
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This is a very amazing poem. You did a fantastic job with this. Keep up the excellent work and God bless you and good luck to you in this contest. I hope you win.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
