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comfortably lost

 

 

 

 

  

She has an oriental heart-
inscrutably quiet
when viewed
with western eye,
or perhaps that stereotype's
too clever,
like my subconscious,
smarter than I am.
 
Each compass point watches
this needle. It spins
within the quiet flesh,
 
where an angle can offer
direction or diversion.
 
I don't need to know
where each stab leads;
just,
a glimpse of sun,
a marker on trail,
something to gather
where I am.
 
No destination or future

is required, to be comfortably
lost in now.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • Nicole Hanna
    December 2, 2007

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    I'm left feeling a little dazzled, but slightly lost, after reading this piece. That's not a bad thing though. Quite the contrary. Those strong emotions are things I long to experience when reading poetry, but so few affect me in just this way that I'm always a little surprised and put off when it happens. It almost makes me feel... uncomfortable. There is something very unforgiving about this, which is (oddly enough) highly enjoyable for me


  • just rob gold member
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Good stuff

    stanza two, in particular.


  • parana717
    November 22, 2007

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    you should look up keats' concept of "negative capability".
    this sounds like a more literal version, but if you revise this at all (it is very good already though), you should think about it.


  • Akimbo
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    The whole world is spinning; it's all I can do to hold on

    That fact that you felt contentment made me feel good.
    I had to come back twice to know what I wished to say.
    That was it.
    Kj


  • blur
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    An excellent write, very very nice...


    blur


  • Cherokee
    November 21, 2007
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  • Cherokee
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    and your use of geometric language in this is particularly effective

    "Each compass point watches
    this needle. It spins
    within the quiet flesh,

    where an angle can offer
    direction or diversion."

  • Cherokee
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    and I adore this part. It sums up why new relationships are so amazing... the excitement attached to the not knowing what will happen next, everything is a surprise, but not too much of one once we get comfortable and build the trust. I won't tell you what happens later. Don't want to spoil the moment.

    "I don't need to know
    where each stab leads;
    just,
    a glimpse of sun,
    a marker on trail,
    something to gather
    where I am."


  • NurseChilly gold member
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    quite quite poignant hun..... very much so



    tis sigh worthy.... for sure

    Gilly.x

  • Cherokee
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I was listening to Comfortably Numb while reading this. It works once you get to the bridge. Cool. Anyway, your poetry puts me in a dreamlike state just like that song.


  • Dalaney gold member
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your last stanza is something
    i keep repeating over and over...
    you get to me in such a good way.
    Love, Lane


  • graphite
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • graphite
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .

1 - 13 of 13