Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

You shine For Me

i. your voice
a taunting angel,

captivates me.

Woven fabrics,

soft sweeps.

Ocean waves,

delicate petals.

No comparison,

to the sound.

Your voice,

I only hear.

ii. your eyes

milky brown hazel,

chocolate surprise.

Sensetive embers,

glisten and glow.

Warmth flows,

through my heart.

As I look in those,

brown beauties.

iii. your heart

Heart smiles so radiantly,

a drift in the wind.

A gentle giving hand,

heart rests between.

Beating for me,

as mine beats for you.

Unconditional love,

a promise made,

between us two.

iv. you

Everything shines,

the skies turn bright.

Your smile brightens,

the darkest of nights.

Closeness desired,

intimacy adored.

Fingertips touch,

further explored.

People stare,

we are perplexed.

A beauty within,

eachothers souls.

We can see all,

in eachothers eyes.

Nothing else glimmers,

like us tonight.

Author notes

Love? *blushes*
He's so sweet.

Okay, I'd like a different title for this one though, as I'm not so kean on it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

female.

In a list

A contest entry

Opinions greatly appreciated

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • DeadlyPoetic88
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I do like how you describe what you like about this person. A different thing in each stanza.
    I honeslty think that the last stanza can be cut. I think that if you just left it as the three it still come across as sweet, but I also feel that it feels less forced.
    I really think you tried too hard with the last stanza. I am not trying to be rude it is just what I can see from the rest of your writing.
    Don't get me wrong I did enjoy this poem. It was truly written from the heart


  • shanghaigirl
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow very good poem
    thanks for the entry


  • crazymomma
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely. I don't remember what this style is called but I really enjoy it. You have lovely and wonderful imagery in this poem. Thanks for entering

  • DeadlyPoetic88
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You're an amazing writer. I really enjoy your poetry. Its always so beautiful. I feel like you spend a long time one each poem you write.


  • Xx Luna xX
    February 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering

    Wow. Wonderful!! This is so beautiful! You did an amazing job!


  • PonyPride
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nicely Written

    This is a really gorgeous poem. It was beautiful! As for the tittle, I like it a lot. Why change it?


  • Simply a Memory
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is good I enjoyed the format, thanks for entering and good luck. By the way why not title it what I love about you?

  • Page Deleted.
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow stef! this is so gorgeous, i dont know what else to say so i'll just give you a million clappies ..... except i cant, alas, i can only give you three.

  • OurxBeginning
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Aw, this is a very sweet piece. I can relate to every word of this. Love is truly awesome. I loved the imagery in this, very pretty and sweet. Well done and keep up the good work.


  • Romily
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice writing....................contact me later with your name and trace....lol I m gonna catch u up.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    November 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is an amazing and beautiful write expressed so wonderfully with sweet words. well done and best of luck

1 - 11 of 11