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Beneath The Mask

Missing image
Beneath The Mask

Sadness overwhelms me
deep
as at night
alone
I weep.
You cannot see
my pain inside
yet
you never even tried.
I know what
you wish to see
as you say
you're proud of me.
This gentle smile
on my face
belongs to me
with all her grace.
It took sometime
to place her there
so daily she is
what I wear.
Just for you
she'll smile away
hoping she will
make your day,
as you pretend
it's all real
never knowing how
I feel.
And when you go
to sleep at night
assure yourself
I am alright.
Your security blanket
hides so well
that I'm still
in this
living
Hell.

Author notes

Written October 23rd, 2003

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • willowprincess
    February 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    reading this nearly brought me to tears. how often do others say they want to know us, but never actually try to. great job, and good luck.


    • teardrop gold member
      February 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for your great comment as well as giving me an opportunity to correct my title.

      TD


  • willowprincess
    February 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering my contest, your poem's great, but unfortunately it doesn't follow the rules. it needs to have the title 'Behind the/my mask'. you can either change the title, or enter a new poem. thanks


  • ImUrFadingMemory
    August 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ~I share the same mask, but I must carry on~
    Kuts & Kisses
    ~Madi~


  • teardrop gold member
    May 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Little Tim,
    You are so adorable! Thank you for your great reply.

    TD
    Edited on May 06 because ''.


  • poeticpieces
    May 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Awww this is so sad, very true and very great write! I love reading you, you're a very great writer and keep my eyes on all of your poetry, which is hard to do considering I don't like to read, lol... So you've definitely made an accomplishment, good Job and great work on the poem! Keep it up, Laters!

    -Little Tim


  • teardrop gold member
    April 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you again. You're right, but when there is nothing left to peel away, what will be left?\

    TD


  • April 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    very good. the living hell, inside heaven, or is it earth.

    i keep peeling away the layers but it's neverending, maybe one day there'll be nothing left to peel away, then again.

  • Com Pati
    February 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is the first poem of yours I have read and I think it is great. So honest and sincere...sad....but so true. You have a real way with words. I'll be reading more soon I'm sure! Keep Penning!

  • teardrop gold member
    February 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Molly,
    Thank you for your encourging reply,

    TD

  • MollysWall
    February 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    This is so beautiful. I think a lot of people ?(including myself) can relate to what you wrote.

    Sometimes I feel like the more I wear my mask, the more I start to believe that is really who I am. But then there are those times when inside I am crying out someone notice who I really am!

    I wish you all the best. Very nice poem, and I love the image
    ~M~


  • -Ask me- I dare you
    December 27, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    TD,
    Amazing poem!!! I loved it!! I wear a mask so much of the time I lose the person i really am underneath it all . This poem was so great. I hate covering up everything to make everyone think I'm ok, but i still do it. grr. well this was beautiful, great and amazing. keep it up!!!!

    ~tonya~


  • teardrop gold member
    December 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Tulsa,
    It seems you know abit of the same pain as I. I am sorry, Thank you for your reply.

    TD

  • tulsatown
    December 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    deep and talented

    Very Deep. I can almost feel your pain. Very good I like the style. Keep writing.

  • xGu4d14n4ng3Lx
    December 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I believe this is a truly beautiful poem that is very expressive and true. We all hide ourselves most of the time, and in place of that frown is a smile to lure another person into thinking that we're happy. Why does it matter? Why do we still hide it? I still do not know, but I wish that sometimes people will open up and take their masks off once in a while. After all, how will we know you if you are hidden under the security of your mask? =] Great work on this poem! ^_^

    x33 amour- Christine


  • teardrop gold member
    December 2, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Timothy,
    I honestly look forward to youe replies. Sorry I am so late in responding. I am going to print all your reply poems and add them in my book with the poems they were writen for. Thanks, my friend!

    Rene'


  • teardrop gold member
    December 2, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Susan,
    Thank you for your wonderful and understanding review. Sorry it has taken me so lobg to reply and yes, I am on my way to your page to read! LOL

    TD


  • poeticweaver gold member
    November 30, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    excellent piece

    Rene,

    I understand, for I once wore
    A mask that shielded me
    From others who'd steal, my heart's core
    So I became a mystery
    Tired of fake friends that lie
    I chose some ties to sever
    So that I can see you and I
    Heart to heart, as we share together
    Leaving behind, the face I once knew
    Trying to be one with my soul
    It's worth it all, the day I met you
    For you truly made me whole

    -Timothy


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    November 10, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I think at some time or another we all wear masks
    Other's don't know of our inner hell as you so aptly described it
    They think all is right in our little sad world
    Little do they know
    Of our pain and sadness inside
    Nicel done and expressed
    Do come see me won't you
    Love the pic that went along with the poem
    That just added the final touches
    Do come see me won't you
    Blessings
    Susan~~~~


  • MusycBoxx
    October 31, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    this kind of reminds me of a poem i wrote called "Behind My Eyes, Between the Lies". alot of people wear masks...it kinda makes you wonder...do we really know anyone? hmmm...great write!

    ~ riki lynn ~


  • Desiree Darkk
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Yea we all wear our own masks, I have mine. It's so no one knows unless we are ready to reveal ourselves. Like this one too. The rhythm and rhyme, which I love. Enjoyed.

    Desiree


  • teardrop gold member
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading all these replies as well as returning the favors. It seems we have alot of sincere writers here. I love it!

    TD


  • teardrop gold member
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Aurora,
    Your comment really touched my heart. Everyone seems to have their disquise we need from time to time. My mask stems from my husband, grandma and Mother passing away at the same time. It seems no one cares that I hurt like hell and they sure do not want to see my tears.
    Thanks for your comment.

    TD


  • teardrop gold member
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Kitty,
    It seems this mask thing is not a secret....LOL Alot of people have caught on.
    Thanks for your comment!

    TD


  • WaryDreamer
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    How strange it is that we all seem to express our deepest feelings through poetry. I totally understand your position here... In fact, I talked about my own mask in a couple of my recent works. Not attempting to advertise, but more to empathize, you might check "Melting" and "Broken Spirit #1" ...Actually, the Melting was supposed to be #2, but I forgot! -wary smile-
    You've expressed your version very well, and I hope you have a happy face in there someplace.
    m


  • jendragon
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I do this everyday...put on my mask for the people around me, especially my parents, they so can tell themselves that I'm their perfect daughter, happy and well-adjusted. "You can't see my pain inside/ yet you've never even tried." Sometimes I wish so badly that someone would care enough to notice my pain, but how can they when I hide it so well, and it's so much easier for them not to see? There are some people who want to know the real you, but you have to learn to let them, I think...I still haven't learned. You remind me very much of me. Very true and emotional write; it was beautiful. Love, Jen.


  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I don't think that anyone will ever understand the pain of being me.

    I have tried everything...being nice, then being vengeful. Helping others, trying to locate myself, being the "good" daughter and the advice girl. Nothing works. I guess nothing even matters anymore, because I never mattered. I am forced to wear a mask every day, since no one wants to see the tears. I have to paint a smile on my face, blink back the tears, and mumble "I'm okay", even though I am hurting like hell.

    And still, no one gives a damn.

    I know exactly how you feel. I have been the great pretender, but not necessarily by choice. I like this poem, even though I think some of the lines are a little long and throw off the even flow of the rest of the poem, however...I have no complaints really. This poem is wonderful.

    I do pray that all gets better for you soon

    As for me...it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora


  • macandrew
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    What an excellent poem. You paint a sad image of what is such a common experience for all. The need to cover our inner pains to get through the day without exposing others to our discomfort.

    I had a little problem with this part:

    You can't see
    my pain inside
    yet,you've never
    even tried.


    didn't quite flow as smooth as the rest of the poem.

    Excellent none-the-less.

    John


  • Destined4Life
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    *stands up and gives "teardrop" a hug*
    Honey, this poem was awesome!! I want it. LOL I wish that I wrote it. Rock On!
    -+-Brea-+-


  • smiley
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I too know the feeling of thinking that no one sees or can look past the masks we wearing on a daily basis's. This was a wonderful vent and I hope that things get better in your life.

    Yvonne


  • angel of your love
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    this poem is awsome....i love it, you can feel the deepness in it...good write...

    ~Tammy~

    Won't you return the favor?


  • juniperiris
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    relatable piece

    well, do not worry, many people in this world wear a mask...maybe not everyday...but in certain situations while interacting with certain people because they feel inadequate. It is frustrating, for in realization of "wearing the mask" it becomes extremely difficult to tear it off like it was super glued. Maybe if I pull some out of my archived books, I will share my version. I kind of romanticized it a bit, but you inspired me to "bring it back out from the dark."

    Thank you for posting this piece. It is very relatable.

  • teenage wasteland
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is great! I really understand that alot! It was a great write... Keep it up!


  • teardrop gold member
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Angel,
    Thank you for your review.You are one great critiquer for you captured the meaning of this piece.

    TD

  • Angelie
    October 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    It does seem to be a living hell, pretending to be someone completely different than you wish to be, keeping up this mask. I can't help wondering what are the characters inner secrets that you have hinted at. You have chosen the right words to convey this sadness.

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