I better open my mouth
To think I could tell you anyway
Hang the trees
By an angels wings
What's that on your face?
You don't remember me
Kill these months by their throat
Selling out yellow tickets
To the open road
I know
It's in my head again
Writing
This stupid ranting
Damn
I've lost it to the night
Scrapping shadows with a
Golden flashlight
You don't even seem to mind
But I'm blind
Troubled ingredients
We've made the ultimate mess
Confess the world as your enemy
You dropped the jacket
So stop yelling at me
Admit it
You stuck the umbrella
Down your throat
To save your heart
From getting soaked
Loose screw
You better tighten it fast
A chain reaction of attraction
Buckled to the past
If I were blamed
And if this were crap
The soul that’s sold
Would be given back
Blank
I'm coming up blank
Tonight I want to stab the shadows
With the stars
Brushed away into
The tiny crevices of my room
Aimed directly toward the back door
A secret passage to Hell
Admit it,
You DON'T know me that well
Author notes
Hi.
lol.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I don't even know what to say anymore!
Umbrella down your throat to keep your heart from getting soaked!? How do you come up with such amazing metaphor! It amazes me, truly girl.
This is awesome! In my opinion, I like everything about it...your expression is always awesome!
I don't even know what to say!
Sometimes I will be reading and I'll be like..how does she come up with this! Fascinating.
♥
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Thanks Lumpkins. :D
THANKYOU! I'm glad you don't know what to say. It makes me laugh. I don't remember writing half of it.. but I finished it last night and posted it. LOLL. If you imagine the umbrella part..Like in your head, literally. It's pretty comical. I must read something of yours. Although I'm not sure if you have anything new. I shall check soon. THankyouuuu.
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I don’t like emo angsty poetry…. Sorry, and this is just overuse overdone, and not new-.
Leslie
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Ok Hi. Just like to pinpoint my ideas, I plainly disagree with you. But not in the stupid sense, more like in the logical sense.
I don't believe its angsty, angsty and emo would have to do more along the lines of "I hate myself," "I'm tired of the world, I wish it'd go away." "And look at me I'm so emo." Lol, somewhere along those lines and more. This is different, theres a fine drawn line. If its overused then why is it so differnet? There are different metaphors, ideas, even the main point of it was a different direction than most would take. Therefore, you should give credit to the author for making it different. Not only is it rude, it's not exactly what you would call constructive critisism.
I can see what you mean if your intention was to inform the author to write something that was less used or uncommon. But as I asuume it was not, you should be more considerate. Little comments like this can make an Author take a different direction, or think their poetry wasn't as good as it could had been or ever will be.
Compltely sorry if this irritates you in the least bit, it wasn't my intention of replying. Itjust grabbed hold of me at how rude the comment seemed.
Very sorry if you disapprove.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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Thanks :D
I don't usually even write that way. I wouldn't call this overdone though. Sorry. Thanks anyway. -
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I'm sorry if I was rude, I will make sure that after this contest is done check out some of your other poetry to really see what is within you.
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Lol..
I don't really mind seriously. I like people to be critical. I like to disagree. In my head. My friend up there, likes to be critical back. It really just amuses me. But I like the fact you replied. Tis really cool. She likes to debate
Anyway, I don't really put my best stuff on here as it is, cause it feels weird for the whole wide web to see it. You know? But thankyou for the offer, and everything. That was nice of you. Weeeell Happy Holidays! And happy wishes for your contest!
~Kali~
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