and as moths they were twisters
inhaling forty watt suns,
screaming for a cease fire
in their senseless suicidal flight.
Purblind to shadows shadow
dwelling in maybe corners,
pleading for candle resurrection
and motes of existence neatly
strung from gallows of intent.
Harlequin persona dripping
in shades of green, gorged
upon innocent rendezvous.
Forever a frowns crease resting
on a smile,
and eyes;
salt tarnished, ready to burst,
set free those moths again.
Author notes
Colin Marschall
A contest entry
- Think Abstract by Jfd.
600 points, ended November 29, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Allpoetry Poet of 2007! Round 2! Pre-write Mania! by Salt Therapy.
600 points, ended December 20, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty Before Nicety
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Dear poet,
Thank you for entering round two of my contest, following all the rules, and being patient with every minute. Everyone has done such a great job so far in this contest, and I hope to see you move up. Judging should be fairly shortly, and the next and FINAL round contest will be up and running soon! All semi-finalists that move up will be notified with a link to the new contest after this one is over
. Good luck dear friend! ~ Kerri
Now for your poem:
A VERY unique and original write. Outstanding job! -
Very nice ...
but I'd have changed "gallows" to "tallows". Otherwise, it's hard to see what you could do to improve on this.

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That Rocked
That kicked ass...... I always loved your style, because poets like you have a special something about the way in which you write and express your creativity. I really liked this poem, because of the certain lines and words that most of others wouldn't use or think of using........ I'm glad you won a gold there...... Good Work

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This piece of abstraction sounds good and resonates in the mind with a perturbing insistence...."dwelling in maybe corners..." is a stunning piece of writing. Perhaps "frowns crease" would be better rendered as "frown's crease". Thanks for writing this for us to savour.
Donald -
I love the way this piece was somehow intertwined within itself...Not sure if that makes sense to you..but that is how it felt to me. It was a great read..
Soulful Woman

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cool
liked it
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hm not too sure about this one but i'll give you a chance
please put your ap name in the authors note or ill DQ you thanx
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Excellent thought provoking poetry. This has so many metaphorical layers of vivid imageries and intricate description...love it! Closing lines are simply stunning.
Hugs'n'Snugs
Me x




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"and as moths they were twisters
inhaling forty watt suns,
screaming for a cease fire
in their senseless suicidal flight."
really strong start...I love what you have done here...very interesting and it has so many layers to it
thanks for entering!
1 - 9 of 9








